We all encounter feelings of anxiety or apprehension because we are always thinking about the result. Somewhere along the line we learned that the love we receive is based on external motivation. We’re not loved for who we are, so much as what we accomplish. We learned this behavior from a family member, coach, or someone we looked for approval from. They saw the the excellent grades or the way we scored the game-winner and showed their approval through their expressions of adulation. 

Early in life, we came to understand that the better we did in school or on the field, the more love we received. If you brought home a bad report card or lost the game, the love that you needed in that moment was replaced with devastating silence. We learned to equate love, or acceptance, or belonging, not with who we were, but how we performed, internalizing the idea that love is predicated on what we outwardly accomplish. So now we’re grown-up, anxious, walking around in the world, afraid to bump into things, completely missing the point of having experiences because we’re worried about the outcome. We’re still worried about the result of our performance, without recognizing that the fear we pay attention to is attracting the worst case scenario. We all want to live our best life, but we’ll never find it if we are limiting our performance by thinking about what might happen. 

Don’t limit the positives of your life because you’re afraid of the negatives. Don’t dampen your enjoyment of something simply because you’re worried about the outcome. Don’t approach your day with anxiety because of uncertainty. Don’t shy away from loving someone with your whole heart because you’re afraid they’ll leave you. Give it all, otherwise you’re betting on the worst case scenario.