Status is on the line in almost every conversation we have. Because the world we live in is just a projection of how we individually perceive it, we are consistently jockeying for position in an effort to establish the dominance of our world view. Sometimes, things go sideways. Generally, our first response is to assert ourselves by raising our voice and arguing, instead of listening to understand a viewpoint and then having a discussion. Provocation comes so quick because our brains are wired to take anything that challenges our worldview, as a challenge to our survival. A lot of the time, with disagreement comes the arousal of a warlike mentality. When there is war, someone must be conquered to protect ourselves or our ideologies. Facts and logic are disregarded because, while we have metaphorically entered a fight to the death, the brain can’t tell the difference. Once we enter this scenario, it’s not a matter of who is right, but who is going to win. And where there is a winner, someone has to lose.

Unfortunately, we have set up a situation where learning is equivalent to losing, which seems to be prevalent in our current political environment. As much as we insist that we’re only trying to illustrate our side of the equation, explaining ourselves is almost always a form of veiled dominance. We’re not trying to educate so much as we are trying to win a “confrontation.” It comes down to “here’s why I’m right, and why you’re wrong.” And, this is exactly how the other side sees it, regardless of how you try to frame it. 

Research in neuroscience has confirmed this warlike mentality. If you show someone who holds a particularly staunch position on a specific topic evidence that conflicts with their belief, areas in their brain — as seen through MRI scans — associated with logic are literally shut down, whereas regions associated with aggression are lit up. As far as the brain is concerned it is no longer a discussion, it’s a war. The brain isn’t capable of processing what the other side is saying no matter how true, logical, or accurate it may be, it’s simply trying to win the interaction. 

The first step toward progress in any scenario is awareness of the variables that affect the outcome. Understanding that our brains are wired in such a way that will make us see red at the first sign of contention in a conversation, can hopefully allow us to adjust our expectations and encounter better outcomes.