Something I’ve learned is that for a relationship to work, and more importantly have the potential to thrive, it can’t be used as a means to fill any voids or wounds caused by our past. If either participant is looking for rescue or validation through the love of another, the relationship isn’t going to work. 

A healthy relationship is one that can provide a welcoming space for mutual evolution. This sentiment is, as Dr. Nicole LePera puts it, “the essence of authentic love.” She goes on to say that, “when two people allow each other the freedom and support to be fully seen, heard, and Self expressed, authentic love doesn’t feel like an emotional roller coaster; it feels like peace and an inner knowing that you are both choosing to show up from a place of mutual respect and admiration.” 

Authentic love is one that feels more like home, than a drug. It definitely has the power to take you on a ride, but it’s not going to create dependence. Any high comes from the realization that life is better with this person, not because of them. It’s rooted in the awareness that this person isn’t there to fix you, heal you, or make up for all the traumas you’ve experienced in your past, but with this person around, sharing a life is much more enjoyable and because of this there is always an inspiration for continual growth, both independently and as a couple.