The emotions we feel serve as a gauge for what is happening in our life, not as a guiding light. Just like the gauges on your Uber drivers dashboard allow us to know how fast we’re going, how hot the engine is running, and how far we’ve traveled. Emotions are feedback from the situations we find ourselves in, letting us know that things things are or aren’t working out well. However, it is a mistake to blindly let emotions dictate your responses to those situations. 

There is a protocol pilots know about when they’re in flight called “flying on instruments,” which basically means the visibility outside the plane is so low — due to fog or various other types of inclement weather — that the only way to continue flying is to rely on the instrument panel they have directly in from of them, instead of a clear line of sight. By doing this, a pilot surrenders a certain amount of control over the situation to what the instruments are telling him. Emotions arise in a “stormy” situation, just like the need to “fly on instruments” during inclement weather. But, when you let emotions take over, you can’t clearly see the situation for what it is. You relinquish the control you have over choosing to objectively see how things are impacting your path forward, blindly letting your emotions control your way forward, just like the pilot on a stormy night.

You don’t blame the air speed indicator for how fast or slow you’re cruising through the air. You know the speed you’re traveling is controlled by how much pressure you give to the handles providing the thrust. You don’t blame the fuel indicator for running out of gas. You know you need to put in a certain amount of fuel to get you to go where you need to go, or you’d fall out of the sky! The gauges are like emotions. They simply let us know how things are going. 

Letting your emotions run the show is akin to flying on instruments, also known as “flying blind.” It’s a reaction to the moment you find yourself in, but it’s very hard to land a plane successfully. That storm of emotion doesn’t always allow you to make the best decisions. It’s easier to fly on a clear day because clarity in action allows us to see the best route forward. 

Allowing the emotions that arise from getting flipped off in traffic or being reprimanded for poor work performance should not serve as a guide to your next action, but to gauge that your actions aren’t in line with what you should be doing. Letting anger, shame, resentment, embarrassment, etc. dictate the response to a situation is equivalent to trying to land a plane blindfolded. You’re blaming the symptom for the root cause of the problem when it could simply be that you’re actually a terrible driver or aren’t as productive at work as you think you are. 

It’s a difficult matter to confront, but we all need to be check from time to time, because that is how we grow. Besides, isn’t that better information? Choosing to be offended because someone nonverbally suggested that you’re a bad driver is insignificant to the actual understanding that you many actually drive like shit. Choosing to resent your boss for bringing up that you failed to hit you numbers is irrelevant to the understanding that you are in control of your performance. The former state of mind keep you where you are, while the latter enables you to grow.

This is why emotional awareness is key on your journey to becoming the person you wish to be. Allowing the feelings that come up during any given situation to dictate your response is only going to keep you a slave to those emotions. All experiences are learning experiences. Learning to let those emotion serve as a gauge that something needs to change, instead of a green light for your first thought of action, will produce a much more powerful outcome.