As I sit here viben' to the 90’s groves, I feel a sense of nostalgia as I think back to a time where I felt good in life. Somewhere after that time, I veered so far off track trying to be something I wasn’t. Trying to please people became the way I lived my life. Certain experiences in my youth instilled the mindset within me that if I didn’t act how people wanted I wasn’t worthy of belonging, or being loved. I felt the only way to fit in, to receive the love and attention I wanted was to acquiesce, to give in to how others think I should be and in return I felt seen and heard. Those thoughts were so ingrained and so deep that I wasn’t able to access them until recently when I had a fuckton of time to spend on self-reflection. The quarantine provided that time, allowing me to explore what was causing my depression and thoughts of suicide.

In isolation, which if anyone knows me isn’t all that an uncommon place for me to be, yet without being able to go outside, or work, I was able to sit down, reflect, write, think and work on self-discovery without distraction. Within that time I stumbled upon Mastin Kipp’s, Claim Your Power. I read the book, worked through the corresponding exercises and I feel like it made a profound difference in the way I am approaching life. I highly recommend it to anyone who feels stuck in life, or is battling with depression.

Our perception of life is all about how we choose to see it. In other words, our life is defined by our narrative. If the words and thought processes we use to frame our life engender a negative voice, telling ourselves stories of how we are victims and everything happens to us, it will have a profound difference than if we think that life is happening for us.

I took the time in quarantine to realize I wasn’t happy with what was going on in my life and decided to change. I am not independently wealthy, so if I have to work, my choice is to get paid to do the things I like. The first step is to be the real me. If you don’t like it that is okay. I want to read, write, podcast, tell stories, and create change in the world from the perspective of health. Will this be the change that makes me a millionaire? Who knows? But if I don’t try, I can’t fail; and if I don’t fail, I’ll never know what I need to do to right the ship and sail into the sunset.

The best time to act was yesterday, the second best time is now.

#MakeMoves