268. “made me feel”
We frequently use the words “made me feel.” We’ll say something like; this person made me feel bad because of what they said.
We use these words for their ease. They require no introspection of their use. We believe we’re just a simple bystander to the events that happen to us. Saying “made me feel” absolves us from the responsibility of having to understand where spontaneous feelings are coming from. But the thing is, no one outside of ourselves has the power to make us feel a certain way. The feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, and even love are all coming from within you. Whatever triggers their response is what we need to call attention to, sit with, and explore.
In other words, the input doesn’t determine the output. Our response to what someone says or does to us, is our response. No one can insert a feeling within us. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can stop making the mistake that other people can exert some level of control over how we feel or operate in our daily lives, and take the responsibility to create the interactions we want.
261. awareness changes everything
Anything we do will be experienced very differently if we do it as a reaction versus a conscious action. For example, when we’re angry, it has the ability to put us on the defensive by taking over our thoughts and words. Much of the time, we regret the things that come out of our mouth automatically, as a reaction to anger. Sometimes it becomes difficult to repair the damage done from those moments. However, this is not to say that expressing anger is always destructive. If we found ourselves in a situation where we saw the opportunity that we could intervene to stop some egregious injustice, the conscious expression of anger could be the best decision to have made in that moment. The difference is that it was given consciously. And anything given consciously rather than automatically is transferred through awareness. So be aware of what arrises within you, use it to improve situations by holding back things you know you’ll regret, or when necessary, let it out to positively impact a negative situation. Awareness has the power to change everything.