275. the average
We all exist as potential. Most of the time we don’t realize what we can be because we’re too stuck in the ways we were. It’s hard to get out of the loop of doing what’s familiar so that we can realize what else is possible. Part of that process is becoming vulnerable enough to recognize our faults and want to improve upon them.
Another part is having people in our lives who inspire us to make those changes because they themselves are doing the same. As the saying goes; “we are the average of the 5 people we spend most of our time with.” So if those people aren’t reflecting the values and aspirations we hold highest in ourselves or pushing us to realize our potential, then most likely they are holding us back from realizing it. And I think the hardest part about this is that it isn’t unique to friends, it is all encompassing from family members, to significant others, to business partners. Sometimes who we have in our lives, isn’t who should be there.
220. what really matters
We’ve all had our share of conflict. “Should I do this? or Should I do that?” Most often, we base our decisions on the most familiar option, not because it’s what we’re truly after any longer, so much as it’s the option where we know what to expect. It’s a safe choice, but not necessarily the right one for us.
All choice comes with an element of uncertainty. There is difficulty in saying “yes” to one thing, because it means saying “no” to another. In other words, in choosing one thing, we lose out on another. If everything align perfectly, we would never find ourselves in such a perplexing situation, as the answers would always be obvious. Yet, when they aren’t, their conflict upon our narrative comes in full force.
So, how do we determine what actually matters, and make the right choice for ourselves? We have to think about what we currently know today. With that information we have to ask ourselves… “if I wasn’t already invested in this business/relationship/career, would I invest in it today?”
It’s easy to think about all the time and effort we’ve placed into a particular endeavor and equate switching directions or quitting to throwing it all away, but we can’t look at it like that. We’ve have to understand that our journey was never set in stone. The steps we took to arrive at this point in our lives were all necessary to create the person we are, but that doesn’t mean continuing down the same path will continue to serve us. Hence, the conflict.
Joseph Campbell once said that, “we must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so that we can accept the life that is waiting for us.” In a sense, what we hold on to, can sometimes be what is holding us back.
Conflict arrises for a reason. Pay attention. It brings awareness to what is and isn’t working to deliver us toward the life that is waiting for us. So, that brings us back to the question.. if you weren’t already invested in (insert the thing you are so conflicted over) , would you currently invest all your time and energy into it?