286. settling for familiar
When it comes to love, there are people who are going to be better for you than others. Unfortunately, sometimes our right person may have already met, and established a relationship with, the wrong one. And you know it’s the wrong one because they stray far enough from their situation to stumble into you. And all that you offer one another, brings you closer, makes you feel alive, fulfilled, and inspired.
Yet, no matter how much love, chemistry, and connection that is shared between the both of you, there is never a guarantee you two will exist together, strictly for one another. It would mean, the one person in the wrong relationship would have to leave, and it’s never that easy. Largely because most of our decisions are based on familiarity. It’s easier to deal with any situation, even if it is less than ideal, when you know what to expect. And familiarity is so powerful that it can cause us to turn down the right person for the wrong one.
Some people realize what needs to be done and make the jump, other people choose to stay where they are because it’s familiar. In either situation, there are differing definitions of success and failure, so there’s no right or wrong answer to the question of what is the best course of action. But the thing is, if we’re settling for familiarity, ease, and comfort, simply out of the fear of having to struggle a little to find equilibrium in a better environment, how can we ever expect to have the things, feelings, relationships, connections, love, or successes we want?
249. the ultimate connection
The ultimate connection has us linked together both physically and emotionally. Yet, there are still some people who continue to argue that the more emotionally open and available you are, the worse the sex gets. But how does that even make sense? The more open and honest you are with yourself, the more you can communicate the things you like and wish to see from your partner. Don’t read this the wrong way, carnal pleasures can be great, but they’re limited to their physicality, whereas anyone who has experienced pleasure driven by emotional connection knows that it can be some next level shit.
Study after study show how emotional intimacy increases both sexual desire and sexual libido. And if you really take the time to sit down and think about it, it makes sense. Truly great sex is all rooted in the same categories as emotional intimacy: openness, communication, and trust. Being able to open up so that you can communicate specific desires while trusting your partner isn’t going to think you’re strange or crazy allows for the ultimate connection. Knowing the desires of another and the comfort to explore them openly creates experiences that never stagnate, but instead continue to build upon the last.
Simply put — showing your emotions can lead to some of the best sex of your life. And while we may think that passion and sexual chemistry fade over time, does it really have to? I think that if we can let go of our fears, and stories that prop them up, we will be able to connect on that deep emotional level, allowing us to grow together with each experience so that we can have the best sex of our life each time we have it.