340. crystal clear
Whenever you try to implement change, a tension arises. The rational part of your brain knows what needs to be done, but the emotional part doesn’t want to do the hard work.
For change to happen you need both parts of your brain on board. If you only instruct the rational part of your brain you’ll have an understanding, but no motivation. If you only appeal to the emotional part of the brain, you’ll have passion, but no direction.
The rational part of your brain is the part of you that knows exercising before work is a good idea, so it sets the alarm nice and early. It has a clear vision of what it wants and the best way to get there, but unfortunately it’s a poor motivator. The best shot at getting your emotional brain on board is to be specific as possible about what needs to happen, otherwise the passion for change will fade.
“Lose weight” isn’t very clear, but “wake up at 5am, put on shoes, go to the gym, do 4 sets of squats and pull-ups” is a crystal clear instruction.
“Be more productive” is not clear either, but “sit down at the desk, open up a word document, set the timer for 20 minutes, and start writing all the words bouncing around in your head until the time is up” is another crystal clear instruction.
Both examples allow for small tasks to be repeated right after another, adding motivation to keep moving forward.
If it’s clear and easy, motivation and direction come into alignment effortlessly, allowing for change to happen. As soon as clarity is lost in vague statements, real change stands no chance.
308. we’re after more than money
Our biggest want is for money. We think it will deliver us to some magical place, where we can find fulfillment because we’ll have the ability to afford all that we desire. Don’t get me wrong, wanting to be rich for the sake of material comfort is fine, but it is likely not going to provide an internal sense of fulfillment. So, in all our efforts to acquire more money, why not be clear on what we’re really after?
Let’s work through this with the following example…
Is more money your desired outcome? Why?
I don’t want to have to worry about money again.
Why do you worry about money now?
I can’t afford to travel and see the world like I want to?
Why do you want to travel?
I want to experience the multitude of cultures and see all the beautiful things the world has to offer.
Why do you want to experience these things?
I believe there is more to this life than waking up and going to work everyday to pay for things that only serve as distractions.
Aha! Now we’re getting to the root of what you’re really after. Your life is unfulfilling. So, what’s missing?
I want a life that I can look forward to. A life of adventure, where new experiences help me grow as a person.
This example is meant to illustrate the fact that our want of money is never that simple. Our intentions to acquire more are just ways to chase down a life that is more fulfilling. The intention is still driven by a desire for personal gratification, however now we can understand that it isn’t money we’re after but adventure and experiences in personal growth. This isn’t to say that we should abandon working toward building wealth and retire to the adventurous life of vagabonding, it’s meant to add clarity to the real reason we want more. Knowing this, we can insert adventure or experiences into our life to gain more fulfillment along the way which can also guide our path, instead of material possessions that generally serve as distractions.
194. in line
Are your goals in line with our values?
You have to remember that if you say “yes” to one thing, most likely you’re saying “no” to someone or something else. It’s not necessarily good or bad, right or wrong, it’s just what it is.
That decision in itself helps clarify your values, and understand your priorities. Both of which lead to your identity, and the way the world sees you.
If you are acting in congruence with your values, ideally those values are tied to the person you want to become. So, in practice; instead of trying to be somebody that tries to do something, become that person who does it. Instead of thinking it’s important for me to go workout, think I’m the person who works out. By simply reframing the language you start to become that person, and because we inevitably are what we do, sometimes we just need a little change in language to set us off in the right direction.