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279. saying no

Some of us don’t know what we need because we never take the time to stop and ask. We’re too busy saying “yes” to anything that comes our way. Maybe it’s because we feel obligated to say “yes” so we can be liked or feel included, but what if what we’re agreeing to doesn’t’ align with our needs? Eventually, those situations we so eagerly agree to at first, start to feel more and more like burdens over time. And most often, instead of coming to the realization that we’re in control of our decisions, we complain that other people are taking advantage of us.

In all our efforts to fit in and feel special, we’ve conditioned ourselves to automatically say “yes” without the benefit of asking ourselves whether the situation we are agreeing to is really in line with what we need or simply an attempt at feeling included or loved. We forgot how to put ourselves first. We forgot that each “yes” is still our decision to make.

That split second after someone asks if we would like to do this or that should be filled with a moment of introspection; “is what this person is asking of me, really what I need right now, or am I saying ‘yes’ out of habit, just to feel included?” The sooner we can get away from our automatic “yes,” the sooner we can leave behind any negative feelings of obligation that come with it. We need to break the habit of saying “yes” and take responsibility for our decisions so that we can figure out what we really need.

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209. give credence

There will always be obstacles on our path. When we stumble upon them, most of us will see it as a reason to stop and complain about our misfortune, instead of recognizing it as an opportunity to gain a deeper sense of satisfaction with the process. The things that come up along the way will definitely test our resolve — and to a point, maybe that’s why they’re their — but if we can think of them as more than a simple hinderance, we can use their appearance to our benefit. Instead of complaining, give credence to the obstacles that show up along the way, because what they will do is give us more to overcome, and overcoming them will provide us with more gratification on our continual pursuit toward progress.

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61. stop complaining

It’s all about where you place your energy. If you are always thinking about how much you dislike something, you will be consumed by the complaints and negative thoughts. In doing so, you are not giving yourself the freedom to think about how to overcome the situation. It’s a spell that’s only broken by taking ownership of whatever it is that’s causing you to complain, choosing to see that you have the power to control where you place your energy, and understand that what the world is giving you is just a reflection of what you’re putting out. If it’s always complaining and negativity, you will continue to see the world as a victim. Whereas, if your energy is focused on creating a better world for yourself, then that is what the world will award you with.

It’s about where you place your energy. If you are always thinking about how much you dislike something, you will be consumed by the complaints and negative thoughts. In doing so, you are not giving yourself the freedom to think about how to overcome the situation. It’s a spell that’s only broken by taking ownership of whatever it is that’s causing you to complain, choosing to see that you have the power to control where you place your energy — into complaining or into overcoming, and understanding that what the world is giving you is just a reflection of what you’re putting out. If it’s always complaints and negativity, don’t be surprised if you continue to be a victim. But, if your energy is focused on creating a better world for yourself, then that is what the world will award you with.

I used to believe this line of thinking was bullshit, but the more I shift my energy, thoughts, and emotions toward what fulfills me, the more I feel I am able to achieve.

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