291. freedom
There’s a story the great spiritual teacher Osho used to tell about a town he lived in that went bankrupt, and didn’t have enough money to keep its prison open. So, all the town leaders got together to figure out what was to be done with the prisoners. It was decided that after an average of 20 years of imprisonment for the prisoners, their debt to society had been paid, and the easiest solution would be to simply let them all go. And so they were released. But the next day, as the Warden came back to finalize the closure, he found all the prisoners back in their cells, adorned with their shackles as if their freedom had never been granted. Perplexed at the situation, the prisoners were asked why they had returned, and the most common answer was that they couldn’t sleep without the safety of their constraints, and that they had no idea what to do with their freedom.
Too often we’re caught up in the safety of what is familiar. We choose to stay in, or go back to, situations that do not serve us, even when given the opportunity to grow. It’s understandable why this happens — there is comfort in knowing what we’re dealing with — yet, with any appreciable amount of self-reflection, we should all be able to understand why being comfortable in a bad situation is never going to be better than the discomfort of a new one.
In another parable from the middle ages, a notorious thief was taken before the King, who would place judgement upon his crimes. Instead, the King had the thief taken down into the castle’s dungeon, where he was offered a choice of two punishments. He could meet a swift death by being hung upon the gallows, or face what was behind a large, foreboding rusty iron door. Without hesitation, the thief chose the rope. And as the hangman placed the noose around his neck, the thief asked…
“My King, what’s behind that door?”
With a laugh, the King responded, “It is of no concern, as I offer all the same choice, yet everyone chooses the rope.”
As the hangman tighten the noose around the thief’s neck, his vision began to darken, and with his last breath he pleaded again…
“Please, my King, what’s behind that door?”
“Freedom,” the King said with a sigh, “but it seems most people are more afraid of the unknown than death.”
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There are very few guarantees in this life. But the most powerful among those is our inevitable meet with death, and that we ultimately have the ability to decide how we arrive. So make the choices that serve the person you wish to become, not who you are comfortable with.
death, and living life to the fullest
I was listening to a podcast about near death experiences with Dr. Bruce Greyson, who had the following to say about overcoming the fear of living…
“When you lose your fear of dying, you also lose your fear of living to the fullest because you’re not afraid of taking risks and losing something, nor are you afraid of what comes next… You’re part of something much greater than yourself, which means that the problems that exist with this bag of skin is not all that important because there is a lot more going on. You tend to see your problems, not as something to escape from, but something to struggle with, learn and grow. And this provides us with a sense of meaning and purpose.”
This resonated with me because it seems that most of us are scared of dying, which shows through in our inability to make the necessary changes in our life so that we can live it to the fullest.
It also reminded me of the quote that is attributed to Steve Jobs…
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encounter to help me make the big choices in life.
Almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
The common thread between these two quotes talking about death is that we should live life to the fullest. If your heart is tempted, there will never be a perfect reason not to follow it, and chances are if it was tempted, the life you’re afraid to leave is already killing you. So if the life you lead isn’t serving you, don’t hesitate to follow your heart. There isn’t anything to lose because in the end we all share the same inevitable destination.
Yes, I understand it is easier said than done, but awareness is the first domino to fall.
210. avoiding death
Death is inextricably connected to being alive, and yet, everyone is desperately trying to avoid it. Those who hold on to their identity the tightest, are the ones that become the most rigid in life — whether ideologically, emotionally, or spiritually. As they grow they become stubborn in their opinions, becoming stuck with the burden of being right, refusing certain ideas or ways of life that are no longer serving them die. All this becomes a reinforcement of a certain narrative that was unconsciously created as a reaction to external fears and threats of change, which stems from a mechanism to preserve a familiar identity they’ve created. And the reason they’re still walking the path of their own narrative wondering why they don’t find joy and connection in life.
If the things we’re telling ourselves aren’t delivering the results we want, then maybe we are listening to the wrong story.