340. crystal clear
Whenever you try to implement change, a tension arises. The rational part of your brain knows what needs to be done, but the emotional part doesn’t want to do the hard work.
For change to happen you need both parts of your brain on board. If you only instruct the rational part of your brain you’ll have an understanding, but no motivation. If you only appeal to the emotional part of the brain, you’ll have passion, but no direction.
The rational part of your brain is the part of you that knows exercising before work is a good idea, so it sets the alarm nice and early. It has a clear vision of what it wants and the best way to get there, but unfortunately it’s a poor motivator. The best shot at getting your emotional brain on board is to be specific as possible about what needs to happen, otherwise the passion for change will fade.
“Lose weight” isn’t very clear, but “wake up at 5am, put on shoes, go to the gym, do 4 sets of squats and pull-ups” is a crystal clear instruction.
“Be more productive” is not clear either, but “sit down at the desk, open up a word document, set the timer for 20 minutes, and start writing all the words bouncing around in your head until the time is up” is another crystal clear instruction.
Both examples allow for small tasks to be repeated right after another, adding motivation to keep moving forward.
If it’s clear and easy, motivation and direction come into alignment effortlessly, allowing for change to happen. As soon as clarity is lost in vague statements, real change stands no chance.
325. confident
Everyone wants to be sovereign in their decision making, yet at the same time people want to be told what to do. It’s a paradox of freedom. I think this stems from a lack of confidence in ourselves and our ability to make the “right” decision. Unfortunately, very few people are willing to bet on themselves, passing on the burden of what to do, they seek direction from someone else, so if they fail, they don’t have to take personal responsibility for their actions. They become a victim of their own lack of confidence — an assistant manager of their own lives — waiting for directions from a higher authority because they don’t feel confident enough to make decisions by taking action on their own.
We can’t be afraid to make our own decisions and fail. It’s really the only way to learn what works for us and what doesn’t. Doing so will grant us the confidence to make decisions on our own. Every failed decision brings us a step closer to a larger victory, which has the power to build a little more confidence in our ability to positively shape our future. Don’t be afraid to make your next decision, no matter how small. Over time, these decisions will bring about more confidence in yourself and what you decide is best for you in the moment. There will be wrong choices, “oh shit” moments, and failures, but they are all there to serve as lessons to build confidence into your future decision making.
For example; failing to put money away for emergencies, or dating the wrong person, are both lessons that inform and create confidence toward our future decision making which will lead to us starting a savings account and figuring out what attributes we don’t like in a significant other so that we can be confident with the direction of our future. However, none of that would be possible if we didn’t have the confidence to make the wrong decisions and thus learn what they have to teach us.
Nothing quells anxiety like action and nothing builds confidence more than learning what works best for us. Be confident in your decisions as they will serve the future version of yourself and who you inevitably want to become.
253. making moves
Life is full of challenges. Most of us worry too intensely about each step needing to be considered as forward progress that we reach a point of stagnation. We can no longer push forward because the situation we’re in no longer serves the person we want to be, while at the same time, we don’t allow ourselves to create a lateral move, much less take a small step back, to reset the momentum which ultimately has the potential to propel us forward.
Anything less than continual progress is considered failure. We make the mistake in believing that each step needs to move us in the same direction, even if it mean we’re running headfirst into a wall. But it’s important to understand that we aren’t defined by each individual step we take, so much as the trajectory we keep. Sometimes that means making different moves, small changes, or step-backs to keep us moving toward to person we want to become. If we keep avoiding the necessary moves that match where we want to go, the only place we’re going to progress is right off a cliff.
248. cascade
Beliefs become our thoughts.
Thoughts become our words.
Words become our actions.
Actions become our habits.
Habits become our virtue.
Virtue becomes our destiny.
There is a level of control to destiny. Many of us think that what is going to happen, will happen. But in reality, we have the power to affect that inevitability. It all starts at the beginning of the cascade with the beliefs, thoughts, and words we use to describe the life we are living. Believing your current situation is inevitable will never allow you to find the words to develop the actions which will orient you towards the habits that can then begin to shift your trajectory.
Where we are, does not determine where we will end up. The sooner we can change limiting beliefs, the sooner we can start to create changes that will put us on a path toward where we want to be and ultimately fulfill the destiny of our liking.
239. stepping back
This life is full of choices. We are always measuring out our next move. Should I do this or that? Thinking about how to make exponential progress without an ounce of regression because we unfortunately equate regression with failure. But as with anything in life, it’s not always this black and white. Regression doesn’t always mean failure. Sometimes it simply means taking a step back to see things more clearly so that you can make a better move forward.
In football, the quarterback always drops back from the line of scrimmage to get a clearer view of the field before he makes a play by throwing, handing off, or even running the ball forward himself. Without stepping back he would not be able to survey the field to execute the best play possible to move the ball forward. If he only kept his head down and tried to continually push through the line he wouldn’t get very far, and probably get hurt in the process. The results would be very poor and predictable, and the game would be even more boring than it already is (sorry, not sorry). The same goes for life…
The concept of stepping back is lost on most of us because we have been taught to never lose ground because our value and identity rests on what we have accomplished up to this very point. But like the quarterback, if you are grinding away and not making progress, maybe what you’re doing isn’t what you should be doing. Step back, regroup, see the situation for what it is. Don’t stay in a situation that isn’t allowing you to move forward simply because you’re afraid to regress or momentarily lose status in your life. Chances are, if you get over that fear, that step back will propel you forward. Sometimes a step backwards is a step in the right direction.
213. wake up with purpose…
At one point or another we’ve all found ourselves headed down a path we thought we were supposed to be on, whether through social pressures or what seemed like the best route to deliver a result we were after. All the while we having to continually convince ourselves to do the work necessary, instead of waking up and enjoying the process. Why is that? Perhaps, it’s the wrong path. But how do you know?
If you’re walking around continuing to do things because you feel you should, instead of finding enjoyment in them because you get to do them, then the narrative you’re following is no longer yours. Your purpose has been coopted by outside forces and is probably the reason you have to convince yourself to do certain things, or make certain decisions.
There’s a difference between saying, “I should” do something, and “I get to” do something.” If you keep saying you “should” do something, it’s a good indication that whatever it is, isn’t aligned with what you’re truly after; and you need to ask why you have to force yourself down this particular path. Whereas, if you wake up every morning, saying “I get to” do this or that (like read, write, workout, go to work, or see someone), then you can feel confident you’re on the right path.
We’re all going to find more success if we follow the path directed by the things we “get to do” instead of relying on the things we “should be doing” to deliver us to a result. One pulls us in, inspires us to do more, while the other only pushes us toward a specific end, where once achieved, we can finally explore what we actually want. So, why wait? Listen to the words you use to describe your actions. Are they, “I get to” do this,” or “I should do that?”
200. different direction
We all want a good life. Some of us think of it as a journey, others as a destination. There’s no right answer as both ultimately end in a similar fashion. We’ve all heard the argument that it is better to do what you love, yet at the same time we know it can be very hard to build a life around watching cat videos on YouTube. So where do we draw the line between enjoying the journey by doing what we love, and setting aside some of our enjoyment along the way to end up at an enviable destination? Some bit of sacrifice is necessary for either option, and that’s the struggle we all deal with.
We can all agree that life should be enjoyable. And, no one deserves anything less. But what happens if in the process of enjoying the journey, something comes along that makes you question the path you’ve chosen? That maybe a bit of sacrifice in one area is necessary for us to gain in another. At a fundamental level, if something shakes you so profoundly that it makes you stop and rethink your resolve about the path you’re on, then it is definitely worth paying attention to. It’s a rare occurrence that shouldn’t be ignored.
Maybe what we thought we were after just isn’t so anymore. And all the choices, successes and failures we’ve encountered up to this point, were just preparation for this moment. The funny thing is that, it just leads back to life being a journey, instead of a destination to reach. You can make all the plans you want, by either trying to create a life out of enjoyment or building one that you can enjoy in the future. But you still have to take it as it comes. Adjust your views as you encounter new perspectives, realign your trajectory, and always keep moving forward, even if it is in a different direction.
148. passions change, purpose endures
Most often we let our passions direct our path in life. We jump from one to another, mistakenly thinking the next one will surely be what we’re after, without realizing that passions will always come and go. Continually letting momentary desires dictate our path through life can be a fun existence, yet will inevitably fail to provide us with a life of purpose, which is where the focus needs to be.
Yet, in a world that changes as often as our passionate pursuits, how can you discover your purpose? You do so by discovering what is changeless about you. If one week you’re passionate about painting, the next about photography, and the week after that you’re into writing, perhaps your purpose is to express yourself creatively. Finding purpose isn’t simply something you stumble upon, it is something you have to uncover by putting the pieces together. It’s an inward journey, instead of an outward pursuit.
Passion and purpose are altogether different. There’s nothing wrong with exploring a passion as long as it provides insight to what gives us purpose. We’ll have many different passions throughout our lifetime, but purpose will never change. The sooner we can uncover what truly drives us, the sooner we can live a fulfilling life.