confused about lack of progress...
If a person searches out a fitness professional and says they want to achieve XYZ fitness goal, they obviously value that fitness professional’s opinion, otherwise they wouldn't pay them. However, when they provide this person with their best guidance based on past experience (which likely led them in their direction to begin with) as to how to achieve XYZ goal, they fail to complete the necessary tasks needed to get there, and then they get frustrated about not making any progress.
Why is that? It's likely that many people… 1) don't actually know what they want, and/or 2) have no idea the effort it takes to get there.
1) People don’t actually know what they want, they just know they aren’t happy with what they have. The general complaint is they’re carrying around too much weight, and so people think fat-loss is the answer, but it’s not necessarily the goal. Confidence is the goal.
2) People have no idea how much effort it takes to achieve their goal, it’s not that the goal is necessarily difficult to achieve. For example, weight loss is relatively simple — eat less, move more — yet far from easy because it requires change. People don’t change because they need to, they change because they’re inspired.
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If anyone is lacking the clarity about what they want to achieve (in any health endeavor, or even life), I don't think they can be truly inspired. So, I guess the first step is to figure out what any of us are truly after in order to find the inspiration to get there. And, I think that comes down to simply asking why enough times to find out.
327. exhale
We’re all waiting for inspiration to strike so that we can finally do that thing we’ve been waiting for. But is that the best way?
Inspiration generally means “something that stimulates you into action,” and at the same time it also means to “breathe in.” Both meanings poetically intertwine if we think of ourselves as breathing in thoughts, concepts, and theories that serve to fill our mind with new ideas. Endlessly scrolling through our newsfeed, we inhale countless images, memes, quotes, podcasts, and articles, all with the intention to inspire us into action. Yet, no matter how much we inhale, the majority of us never get enough. We’re always looking for more, thinking that there is something else out there that we haven’t found, and will be the ONE THING we’re after.
Our capacity to continuously breathe in, and in, and in can only get us so far before we must breathe out. But it’s in that exhalation where we find what we’re after.
Nothing is going to be as truly inspiring as the action you take after exhaling all the new ideas we’ve gathered and applying them to produce the work or results we want — whether the endeavor is creative, financial, or personal in nature. In other words, the action we take is the real inspiration we’re after. It’s the action of exhaling, breathing out all the ideas we’ve collected and putting them to use. True inspiration doesn’t come from consuming new information, but rather from incorporating those ideas into the actions we take toward building the life we want.
We make the mistake of thinking that if we keep inhaling books, presentations, talks, tweets, interviews, and documentaries we’re going to suddenly be inspired into the life we want. But the funny thing is, constantly breathing in is actually anti-inspiring because it doesn’t allow us to exhale. We have to breathe out, creating intention with our exhalation, focusing on our output to achieve the inspiration we’re truly after.
Never stop consuming the things that interests you, but know that the inspiration you seek isn’t in the search, it’s in the act of doing.
314. choosing the ones we do
We all want to lead enjoyable lives with people who set our soul on fire. Yet, much of the time we trade the attributes we’re most passionate about for the security or stability of something less fulfilling — be it financial or otherwise. And while that isn’t necessarily wrong, is it right to give up on something that can make you feel better than anything else, just to feel comfortable in a relationship that isn’t truly fulfilling you? I would say no, for the simple fact that stifling your needs will never allow you to recognize your true potential as an individual and impact the world in the most meaningful way. Finding someone who can light your soul on fire provides inspiration, whereas settling for security leaves you longing for the things that can make you whole. But, I don’t speak for everybody and ultimately, it is circumstances that dictate our narratives and the reasoning behind why we inevitably choose the relationships we do.
So, while it is admirable that certain people can slough off the need for security to follow their heart, it is a bit conceited to think that those who don’t are any less. At the end of the day, we all make decisions that are right for us in the moment. Security may be what some people need to develop into the person that chases their passion in the future; alternatively, aligning with someone who inspires you into action may be the best way to feel secure and achieve the life you’re after. We’re all different. Some of us will have our hearts broken, becoming casualties in the wake of another’s transformation, but if we’re lucky we’ll find the right person, at the right time, who chooses to walk the same path and wants to share in co-creating a narrative together.
276. authentic love
Something I’ve learned is that for a relationship to work, and more importantly have the potential to thrive, it can’t be used as a means to fill any voids or wounds caused by our past. If either participant is looking for rescue or validation through the love of another, the relationship isn’t going to work.
A healthy relationship is one that can provide a welcoming space for mutual evolution. This sentiment is, as Dr. Nicole LePera puts it, “the essence of authentic love.” She goes on to say that, “when two people allow each other the freedom and support to be fully seen, heard, and Self expressed, authentic love doesn’t feel like an emotional roller coaster; it feels like peace and an inner knowing that you are both choosing to show up from a place of mutual respect and admiration.”
Authentic love is one that feels more like home, than a drug. It definitely has the power to take you on a ride, but it’s not going to create dependence. Any high comes from the realization that life is better with this person, not because of them. It’s rooted in the awareness that this person isn’t there to fix you, heal you, or make up for all the traumas you’ve experienced in your past, but with this person around, sharing a life is much more enjoyable and because of this there is always an inspiration for continual growth, both independently and as a couple.
270. one phrase
We’re all searching for something to fill a void. In our attempt at figuring it out, we’re inevitably pulled in different directions. Most likely chasing after money, power, or respect, to no avail. However, nothing is going to fill that void more perfectly than finding someone who see’s us for who we are under the mask of all the things we chase. No matter what we do, everything in this life is just a progression toward one phrase… “I love you.”
i just want to wake up with you
the world turned to bring us closer
it spun on itself and within us
and joined us together in this dream.
separated from reality, we fell for each other
in the twilight hours we explored
ourselves, our feelings, our future
You, and I, quickly became Us
in that transformation we grew together
broken in all the right places, we fit.
we were the completion of a circuit
setting each other free, to feel, to love
to see, to experience electricity.
it is all so real, but unrealized
as our love is left in the darkness of the night
and that’s the problem with dreams…
i just want to wake up with you.
off topic: saying “i love you”
Saying, “I love you,” never came easy for me. Until it did. Why is that? My previous 2 relationships lasted a total of 15 years, and they had to pry those words out of my mouth. Looking back, I’m pretty confident it wasn’t love I was in, but denial that I had simply grown comfortable in a situation I didn’t want to leave. That’s not love, and it makes sense why the words never came easy. Fast forward to my most current relationship/situation (its complicated, I’ll write a novel about it one day)… I not only want to tell this person I love her, but I want to tell everyone else I love her, also. It’s as cute as it is ridiculous. So what’s the difference? Well, to be honest, I found someone who I want to make happy, whereas before I was looking for someone to make me happy. And that right there makes all-the-fucking-difference.
It’s rare to find someone you genuinely care enough about to break your own heart to let her go so that she can live the life she wants. It’s rare to find someone who inspires you to change your ways so profoundly that it causes you to see the world differently, and yet cannot imagine a world without her. It’s rare to find a person you truly and selflessly want to make happy. I think that’s why I love her, and I find it so very easy to say to her, “I love You.”
Find someone that makes the words come easy.
208. five years of inspiration
We can all benefit from having someone to look up to, but we make the mistake of looking in the wrong places. We see successful people in areas that pique our particular interests and think, “Oh, that person has it all figured out, I’m going to walk their path.” But that path can never be ours, nor should we want it to be.
Instead of searching outside ourselves for inspiration, we should be thinking about the person we want to be 5 years down the line, and aspire to become that person everyday. The trick is in never allowing ourselves to think we be able to close the gap, but that it always remains an equidistant 5 years ahead, So, with each new accomplishment in the present, we add to the success of that future vision of ourselves, providing constant and relevant inspiration for progressing day after day.
203. inspiring passion
Discovering a passion is a wonderful feeling. It’s a burning sensation that ignites a path to a new experience. The light of it’s explosion allows us to see new possibilities that we may move on to when the flame inevitably dies out. But what about those passions that don’t burn out? What differentiates those that burn out from the ones that develop into something that lights our world on fire?
It comes down to inspiration. Normally, we need inspiration to pursue the passion. We need the promise of an end result to continue the pursuit. We think; if I practice this instrument, I can play music; if I workout, I can be fit; if I go back to college, I can get a new job. But if the results aren’t delivered fast enough our resolve wains in the process, and the fire dies out and we move on.
However, if we discover a passion that provides inspiration, instead of requiring it, it will simply grow over time because it aligns with the person we want to be. It’s the difference between working out because we need to be in shape for a wedding, and working out because it makes us feel good. It’s the difference between entering into a relationship because you’re lonely, versus entering it because you simply want to make the other person happy. The former requires inspiration, while the latter creates inspiration for the fire to burn brighter.
It seems that finding a passion that creates inspiration is rare, yet for those that do, they lead the lives we all aspire to. So, find a passion that inspires you to dive deeper into it.