271. reflections in the mirror
Do we ever really know ourselves? Are we ever really given a chance? From the moment we pop out, and into this world, we’re imprinted with the customs and beliefs of those around us. It makes us who we think we are and from that point forward, life becomes a constant search for mirrors that reflect those original ideals back onto us. But at a certain point, we need to be comfortable enough with ourselves to question the validity of what those mirrors are actually showing us.
Are they reflecting what we want to see because it’s familiar and therefore comfortable, or are they showing us what we need to see in order to grow by challenging our comforts? Chances are, most of us are looking for a reflection that says “I’m okay just as I am. I’m good.” And while I agree that we all need to be comfortable with who we are, it definitely shouldn’t be because anyone else says so.
We have the ability to choose the mirrors we look into, therefore we can always see what we want. But if what is reflected back at us doesn’t challenge us to improve, it isn’t serving us, it is only reconfirming that the beliefs and ideals we already hold are good enough. And that is never gong to allow us to break free from who we’ve been taught to be. We need to seek out and surround ourselves with people or groups who challenge our long held beliefs, and who inspire us to break the mirror we are used to peering into so that we can aspire to be more than a simple reflection of our original ideals.
265. reflection
Most people attach their sense of self-worth to the values and expectations placed upon them by their family or religious belief systems. But as these institutions fade away, each of us is charged with creating our own identity, and the burden has never been heavier. The situation leaves us with no guide or model to follow, so we constantly stare at ourselves in the mirror, negotiating our sense of self-worth and who we’re supposed to be.
Sociologist Eva Illouz points out that “the only place where you hope to stop that evaluation is in love. In love you become the winner of the contest, the first and only.” Being in love has the tendency to show us who we are, and more importantly who we can be. It inspires us. It breaks the old mirror we’re used to seeing ourselves in, dissolving the negotiation of who we should be, and replacing it with the idea of who we need to be in the eyes of the person we love.