308. we’re after more than money
Our biggest want is for money. We think it will deliver us to some magical place, where we can find fulfillment because we’ll have the ability to afford all that we desire. Don’t get me wrong, wanting to be rich for the sake of material comfort is fine, but it is likely not going to provide an internal sense of fulfillment. So, in all our efforts to acquire more money, why not be clear on what we’re really after?
Let’s work through this with the following example…
Is more money your desired outcome? Why?
I don’t want to have to worry about money again.
Why do you worry about money now?
I can’t afford to travel and see the world like I want to?
Why do you want to travel?
I want to experience the multitude of cultures and see all the beautiful things the world has to offer.
Why do you want to experience these things?
I believe there is more to this life than waking up and going to work everyday to pay for things that only serve as distractions.
Aha! Now we’re getting to the root of what you’re really after. Your life is unfulfilling. So, what’s missing?
I want a life that I can look forward to. A life of adventure, where new experiences help me grow as a person.
This example is meant to illustrate the fact that our want of money is never that simple. Our intentions to acquire more are just ways to chase down a life that is more fulfilling. The intention is still driven by a desire for personal gratification, however now we can understand that it isn’t money we’re after but adventure and experiences in personal growth. This isn’t to say that we should abandon working toward building wealth and retire to the adventurous life of vagabonding, it’s meant to add clarity to the real reason we want more. Knowing this, we can insert adventure or experiences into our life to gain more fulfillment along the way which can also guide our path, instead of material possessions that generally serve as distractions.
301. hustle & grind vs. hustle & flow
We mistakenly glorify the hustle and grind. Don’t get me wrong, we should always exude a measurable level of commitment, but wearing the ability to get by on as little sleep as possible as a badge of honor that symbolizes our work ethic or toughness is just a failure of priorities.
We buy into the idea of the grind because we want our hard work to mean something. We want all our discomfort and sacrificing of the present to pay off in the future so that we can finally enjoy what we’ve been putting off the whole time. But that is where we need to start — with the end in mind. Most likely, that thing we are hustling and grinding for isn’t money or fame, but freedom to explore what we love and the ability to be admired for sharing it with the world.
The unfortunate part is that a focus on the grind takes our focus away from what we should be fixated on, placing it on toil, instead of redefining the hustle. The whole purpose of this life is centered around achieving your purpose and your why. This means you’re so aligned with the effort it takes to get where you want to go, that it doesn’t feel like a grind or a sacrifice, but every step becomes an enjoyable part of the process, no matter the effort. It’s a perfect alignment of your purpose becoming the thing that drives you and directs your life. It’s having all your hard work deliver you to your why. It’s more hustle and flow than hustle and grind.
270. one phrase
We’re all searching for something to fill a void. In our attempt at figuring it out, we’re inevitably pulled in different directions. Most likely chasing after money, power, or respect, to no avail. However, nothing is going to fill that void more perfectly than finding someone who see’s us for who we are under the mask of all the things we chase. No matter what we do, everything in this life is just a progression toward one phrase… “I love you.”
101. watch where your resources flow
What is the easiest way to know if the strategy you’re implementing will be successful? Watch where your resources flow. Whether it’s time, money, attention, or love — it really comes down to how you allocate your resources that will determine the outcome. If you want to be in shape, but choose to spend the majority of your free time watching Netflix and eating takeout, those 30 minutes a day spent at the gym aren’t going to amount to much. If you want to be in a relationship, but choose to take that person for granted by treating them as though they will always be there, those times you find it necessary to say “I love you” will eventually mean less and less. You might think you’re a dedicated person because you choose to go to the gym for 30 minutes a day, or only choose loving words when you feel its necessary, but the outcomes of those strategies are only going to result in failure. The expectations of these strategies aren’t aligned with the reality of the situation. If the decision you make about where you want to invest your mind, body, and heart aren’t consistent with the person you’re aspiring to be or the things you want to accomplish, you’ll never become that person who accomplishes those things.
89. we have it backwards
In our system, the symbol has become more valuable than what it represents. We’ve come to value the map more than the territory it allows us to explore. Money, over the wealth it can provide. Information, over how it can educate. And, appearance, over how to capture health. We have unknowingly become more enamored with the secondary symbol, rather than the fulfillment it offers. It’s like when you go to the grocery store, gather a cart full of goodies, and roll up to the cashier. “That’ll be $86, please,” and then you get depressed because you have to give up $86 worth of symbolic paper for an actual cart full of goodies. We just think we lost $86, when the real value is what’s in the cart. We are depressed because we place more value on the symbol than what it is gained in reality. Where something like money represents potentiality, the actual wealth it allows us — i.e., the cart full of goodies — seems ordinary and necessary because we all have to eat. We have it backwards.
62. money isn’t freedom
People say they want freedom. To most, that means the ability to go and do whatever they want without the burden of having to worry about money. It sounds nice, but it doesn’t make you free. The thing is, money is like an ocean, it ebbs and flows. There will always be enough, but there is only a finite amount of things that can truly fulfill you, or love you back. Giving up on something you’re passionate about will never make the world a better place. Settling into a life where you have to trade what fulfills you for money will never make you free. Yes, you’ll have money to escape the life you chose, but wouldn’t it be better to build a life you don’t need an escape from? Freedom comes from finding something or someone you love, that fulfills you, and allows you to be You.
Freedom isn’t about what money can buy, it’s about the intangibles. It’s finding love, passion, support, fulfillment, and chemistry from something that you want to escape to, not from. Yes money can take you places, but it’s never going to get you closer to what you need. Finding that thing, or that person that delivers those intangible emotions with intensity is freedom. That is not to say we don’t need money to take care of things, but at what cost are we willing to “pay”? Staying in a situation that doesn’t make you happy, that isn’t working for you, that hasn’t worked in the past, or is causing you to miss out on something far more fulfilling for a chance to be financially stable isn’t freedom, it’s servitude. How long do you want to continue paying off a debt you don’t owe? It’s not easy, but it’s a choice. You want freedom? Find what you love, and never look back because the money will come.