confused about lack of progress...
If a person searches out a fitness professional and says they want to achieve XYZ fitness goal, they obviously value that fitness professional’s opinion, otherwise they wouldn't pay them. However, when they provide this person with their best guidance based on past experience (which likely led them in their direction to begin with) as to how to achieve XYZ goal, they fail to complete the necessary tasks needed to get there, and then they get frustrated about not making any progress.
Why is that? It's likely that many people… 1) don't actually know what they want, and/or 2) have no idea the effort it takes to get there.
1) People don’t actually know what they want, they just know they aren’t happy with what they have. The general complaint is they’re carrying around too much weight, and so people think fat-loss is the answer, but it’s not necessarily the goal. Confidence is the goal.
2) People have no idea how much effort it takes to achieve their goal, it’s not that the goal is necessarily difficult to achieve. For example, weight loss is relatively simple — eat less, move more — yet far from easy because it requires change. People don’t change because they need to, they change because they’re inspired.
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If anyone is lacking the clarity about what they want to achieve (in any health endeavor, or even life), I don't think they can be truly inspired. So, I guess the first step is to figure out what any of us are truly after in order to find the inspiration to get there. And, I think that comes down to simply asking why enough times to find out.
283. two journey’s
We take two journey’s.
The first is the Hero’s Journey, popularized by Joseph Campbell. It takes us from believing that we are what our parents or society told us to be, to shedding those ideals, and going through the process of uncovering who we truly are, where we eventually take on a new identity.
The second, is that of the Artist’s Journey. It’s what Steven Pressfield refers to as “bringing our gift to the world.” It’s the act of living our purpose. It’s the special thing we uncovered in the process of completing the Hero’s Journey that inspires us to show up in the world, and is what provides for the Artist’s Journey to take place. For example, if we find that expressing ourselves through the medium of writing is what allows us to be the person we want to be, then writing is what we need to do. The Artist’s Journey is about showing up in the world and using that special thing that motivates you to be creative or productive.
Think of it like this… the first half of our lives we are creating a vessel to be filled, and in the second — after we know what it takes to live with purpose and find fulfillment in our actions — we fill the vessel.
Both journey’s are of equal challenge and importance, but the sooner we can build our vessel, the sooner we can live with purpose.
278. proving the process
We all want to improve some aspect of our lives. Most of our attempts come through the act of goal setting. Unfortunately, as good as goals can be as an initial motivator, they come with a downside of becoming useless once achieved. So we’re constantly tasked with setting new goals, which may work for some people, but for others, it’s likely that the continued sacrifice and grind of denying who we are or how we want to live to achieve something can take a toll until we eventually quit altogether. But there’s a better way to look at it.
Instead of goal setting being black and white, either achieved or not, think of it as a testing process. To see what works, what doesn’t, and what can be implemented into a longterm process of achieving, instead of achievement. There is no point in denying ourselves the things we enjoy or sacrificing parts of our life to achieve something, only to say we achieved a result for a brief moment before we revert back to doing the things we enjoyed.
The simplest way to achieve something is usually not the most sustainable or easiest way for us to get there, and that’s okay. The simplest way to achieve a weight loss goal is to severely restrict calories and workout intensely. The simplest way to achieve a goal of financial independence is to stop spending money and work feverishly. While either goal is admirable, the sacrifice it takes to achieve them likely isn’t sustainable for the majority of us, because simple doesn’t equal easy.
It’s better to use our attempts at achieving goals to figure out small things that we can stick with and implement into our lives, so that over time we can achieve what we’re after without having to sacrifice all our fun and enjoyment. Pretty soon, those small things we’ve added in, simply become part of the process of our daily lives, not part of a goal we’re trying to achieve. And because we continue to add those small parts in, we can arrive at the same end point of a healthy weight or hefty bank account while not having to worry about regressing or falling back into old habits.
We will be better off if we can reframe the process of constant goal achievement, into a process of achieving. In the end, we’ll no longer need a goal when our process is proven over time.
255. what fills your time
We start new habits with the best of intentions. Placing our effort into areas that will help us move ourselves closer to the person we want to become, but sometimes we lose the motivation that got us started in the first place. When this happens, the popular excuse of “there isn’t enough time,” always comes up. The funny thing about that is for as long as you held the habit, there was enough time to complete it.
So where is the disconnect? It’s not that you lack time, but your motivation waned, and that is okay. Not all habits are meant to stick. However, be mindful what occupies the time you previously spent on your habit of self-improvement. If what you replaced the habit with isn’t of equal value or doesn’t help you progress to the person you are trying to become then perhaps you should rethink what you’re giving up. For example, if I gave up the habit of writing because “I couldn’t find the time,” yet spent an hour a day on social media, then I am not making a decision my future-self will benefit from. However, if I give up the habit of writing because I wanted to focus more on making videos as a form of self-expression or the exploration of ideas, then that seems like a good trade off.
So pay attention to what fills your time. If the habit you currently have isn’t working for you, that’s okay, change it up, just don’t replace it with something that is going to waste the time it’s elimination frees up.
250. we are all the same
We have a tendency to put people on pedestals, turning them into saints or some “other” that is uniquely different than us. We create a separation between the lowly us and the extraordinary them. In doing so, we justify our lack of success or accomplishments because we aren’t built like the people we idolize. Unfortunately, we make the mistake of thinking those we look up to are somehow different than us without realizing that at one point they were just like us, looking up at someone else. But instead of letting that separation become an excuse not to strive to become more than they are, they used it as motivation, or influence, or encouragement that life is what you make it.
We are all the same. No one has mythical powers. Just because someone is accomplished, educated, successful, or in shape doesn’t mean that we cannot become any of those things. But if we live with the thought that those people we look up to are somehow built different than us or endowed with supernatural abilities, then it becomes easy for us to fall back on excuses saying we can’t accomplish those things. So, walk forward in this life knowing that you are no different that the people you look up to, but just at a different point on your journey.
79. motivation is bullshit
Motivation is bullshit. Seeking daily motivation to push that boulder up the hill, isn’t the best way to achieve what you want because as we all know, our enthusiasm runs out. If you’re relying on motivational youtube videos, inspirational quotes, pep talks, or special incentives to get you to move in the direction of something you say you want, then you’re doing yourself a disservice because you aren’t giving yourself what is necessary to succeed.
What you need is a better “why.” A reason deeper than, “I want to look good naked,” or “I want to be rich.” Statements like these are largely ambiguous, and can constantly be redefined to match your level of enthusiasm at any given time. Most often when you say things like this, what you truly want is to be attractive enough to find the love you desire, or to have enough money to live a life you deem comfortable. If you can uncover this deeper “why,” you’ll be able to be in the necessary effort, without a constant supply of motivation.
Unfortunately, finding that “why” won’t make the boulder go away, but it will replace your struggle with meaning. And, the more meaning we can bring to the process, the more successful we will be regardless of our endeavors.
75. dialogue over dictates
To initiate change, dictates need to be replaced with dialogue. Over the past few days, I have tried to illustrate the issues we’ve been confronted with over the past few months without telling anyone specifically what I think needs to be done do to improve anyone’s health and safety. I firmly believe that no one can be forced to change if they aren’t ready to, no matter how much information is thrown at them. However, I want to be part of the discussion that changes your life, that allows you to create a greater sense of awareness about the world we are living in, and ultimately helps you achieve a healthier life.
The best way to help people find greater personal motivation in their journey is to avoid demotivating their interest by simply telling them what needs to be done, and instead invite them to look at the world from a different perspective, with the hope that it can pique their interest. I have shared many things that have been contradictory to the prevailing “wisdom,” not because I have a political agenda, but because I truly love what I do and want everyone to gain from my passion. As I encourage others to look at things differently, I understand that it can be tough to take the first steps outside of what you’re comfortable with. I get it change is hard. People tend to resist taking on new ideas or behaviors more so because they’re crystal clear about what they’ll lose by changing, but uncertain about what they’ll gain in the process. It’s tough, albeit necessary in these times.
When it comes to creating change, we all tend to overvalue what we’re losing, while undervaluing what we’ll gain. It’s understandable that we don’t eagerly embrace alternatives, yet I think it’s time we start a dialogue about how to move in the direction that seeks to optimize our health instead of cowering in a corner waiting for the status quo to be saved.
failure is a signal for change
In our effort to change, we often get derailed. We think that because we failed all we need is to exert greater effort or persistence. That may be true, but it could also signal that it’s time to change tactics or strategies. Rarely, should failure be a signal that we’ll never be able to succeed in our efforts. For example, imagine you find yourself with a half eaten donut in your hand on your way home from the gym. Should you come to the conclusion that you’re unable to stick with the nutrition plan laid out by your wonderful trainer? Or should you realize that since it’s too difficult to resist the temptation of stopping in the donut shop when you see that “hot light”, you should probably change your route home?
The first conclusion serves as a discouraging departure from progress that your are trying to make, whereas the second creates a solution that serves as a corrective guide, allowing you to refine your strategy. Creating healthier habits can be as simple as changing your environment.