off topic: fight club
Here's my mildly cryptic proposition for a Fight Club... You have to accept that the "normal" way of life (the status quo) is never going to allow you to become the best version of yourself. That the only way forward is to passionately focus on completing the work necessary to illuminate, correct, and construct a new narrative that directs you towards the life you want. Whatever it is, you'll need to remove the blinders sold by reductionistic thinking and open yourself up to the multitude of inputs that allow for a compound effect (1+1+1>3). The mind, the body, and the spirit, singularly mean nothing, but when strengthened simultaneously create more than the sum of their parts. Fight Club seeks to build an undefeatable belief in the self, drawn from the ability to learn from the struggles (physical, mental, & emotional) life bestows upon you, and intentionally take action in accordance with the sovereign individual you wish to be.
Accountability is a pledge to your future self.
Respect is never forgetting the fundamentals.
Education never stops and is always moving.
Health is a vehicle for all performance.
Virtue is only recognized by the strength of ability.
Fear is a bastion for conformity.
Rules:
1. Start where you are.
2. Take action (fight, read, lift, nourish, create, recover).
3. Be better than yesterday.
Fight against mediocrity to live your best life.
331. just say no
Stop saying “Yes” to things that should be a “No.” The most valuable resource we have is our time, yet we often waste it on things we’re not fully invested in. We’re afraid to say, No. But why? Likely for fear of missing out, not being included, or letting someone down. This may be admirable to a certain point, but after a certain point it becomes imperative to realize that the choice you’re making isn’t serving you, nor the person you’re trying to appease.
It’s disingenuous to say, Yes, to things that aren’t going to fully arouse our interest and allow us to fully show up in the moment. When we continue to do so, we begin to wonder why our life is filled with mediocrity. Well, it’s because we haven’t given ourselves the time or the space in our schedule to explore the things that truly interest us.
A half-hearted, Yes, will not serve you. It doesn’t value your time, your interests, or your growth as a person. When you’re too busy simply showing up and participating in someone else’s interests rather than creating space to actively seek out your own, you’ll never be able to take full advantage of any opportunities that actually come your way. Inevitably, by saying, Yes, when you should be saying, No, keeps you busy living a mediocre life, distracted from what you should be exploring so that you can build a life you want. The solution is to be more selective with your time. Say, Yes to less so that you can have the time to find your passions. If someone asks you to do something and your automatic response isn’t “Hell Yeah,” then it should be a “No.”
292. excellence requires grit
Excellence requires repetition.
Day in and day out, repetition is necessary for you to be great at anything. Even if your passion and purpose perfectly align, and you completely love what you’re doing, there are going to be days where what you’re doing is reduced to a daily checklist. Feelings of boredom or frustration are bound to manifest even with the most ideal of routines. So besides loving what you do, it also becomes necessary to develop a gritty or tenacious mindset to make it through those days.
Without a bit of grit or tenacity to drive you through the boredom or frustration that accompanies every routine, you can quickly lose your way. Developing a mindset that allows you to bite down and make it through can save you a lot of lost time spent on distractions from what you truly enjoy and are bound to return to anyway.
So on those inevitable days where you don’t want to show up because you’re simply frustrated with the routine of having to go to the gym, sit down to write, teach what interests you, or any of the variety of things that align with your passion and purpose, remember to stay gritty and remain focused so you can make it through the day. In the end, completing the tasks you care about, no matter the frustration attached, will always be met with more gratification and therefore excellence, than succumbing to the temptation of breaking your routine.
280. right person, wrong time
What happens if you find the right person at the wrong time? When I say the right person, I mean someone who you share a connection with that is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Exciting, but familiar. Comfortable, but never boring. Inspired, but safe in being who you are. There’s a perfect match in polarity. What you lack is uplifted by the other, and vice versa. Where physical attraction, spiritual passion, and sexual desire only grow deeper with each meeting. And no matter the space in between those shared times together, it’s like no time had passed at all. It’s everything that you read about in love stories and watch in romantic movies come true. Now condense all that down into one person, and that’s what I mean when I say the right person. Such a presence. And so hard to deny.
What if, you find someone who gives you all these things, and who says you do all the same for them, but that person is in a relationship with someone else? And it’s very unlikely that you’ll ever be together to realize your full potential because there are so many variables standing in your way. What is the right course of action for times like this? Am I supposed to walk away because it’s never going to happen or continue to fight for the best feeling I’ve ever had with another human being? It’s sad and tragic to think that the universe would deliver this beautiful person to me, who provides everything I need to be the person I aspire to become, yet I’ll never be able to truly exist with them. It’s the classic case of the “right person at the wrong time.”
249. the ultimate connection
The ultimate connection has us linked together both physically and emotionally. Yet, there are still some people who continue to argue that the more emotionally open and available you are, the worse the sex gets. But how does that even make sense? The more open and honest you are with yourself, the more you can communicate the things you like and wish to see from your partner. Don’t read this the wrong way, carnal pleasures can be great, but they’re limited to their physicality, whereas anyone who has experienced pleasure driven by emotional connection knows that it can be some next level shit.
Study after study show how emotional intimacy increases both sexual desire and sexual libido. And if you really take the time to sit down and think about it, it makes sense. Truly great sex is all rooted in the same categories as emotional intimacy: openness, communication, and trust. Being able to open up so that you can communicate specific desires while trusting your partner isn’t going to think you’re strange or crazy allows for the ultimate connection. Knowing the desires of another and the comfort to explore them openly creates experiences that never stagnate, but instead continue to build upon the last.
Simply put — showing your emotions can lead to some of the best sex of your life. And while we may think that passion and sexual chemistry fade over time, does it really have to? I think that if we can let go of our fears, and stories that prop them up, we will be able to connect on that deep emotional level, allowing us to grow together with each experience so that we can have the best sex of our life each time we have it.
241. sustained desire
Unfulfilled desire will always be met with disappointment. It’s frustrating to be denied a raise or turned down by that person at the bar. But, fulfilled desire also comes with its own flavor of loss. In getting what we want, we lose the thrill of wanting it. The yearning, the elaborate strategies, the fantasies, and all the energy wound tightly into wanting are exasperated upon acquisition.
Sound familiar? It has too. Just think about the last thing you had to have until you got it. Now that you have it, you may enjoy it, you may even love it, but do you still want it? How does that want compare to the first time it crossed your mind? It is definitely harder to want what you already have, for the obvious reason of owning it. It’s the law of diminishing returns telling us that with increased frequency comes a decrease in satisfaction. The more you use a product, the less satisfaction you’ll get with each subsequent use.
So if desire is always more intense than its requiting, are we doomed in our quest to find the one? Are our attempts at a loving relationship destined for staleness for lack of longing?
It is often said that people only want what they can’t have. This makes sense from the perspective of buying a new gadget, article of clothing or even sexual conquest, but I think that logic breaks down when it comes to love. You see, we cannot own a person in the same way we own our iPhone. People, the ones who we make our partner, are not finite entities for consumption, manufactured in a certain form to fill a specific function. They are organic individuals who think, learn, and grow from their life experiences. This gives them the ability to continuously transform throughout their lives.
If not, then yes, trade that mother fucker in. But that speaks directly to the point.
Because you can know the in’s and out’s of your iPhone, you will want a new one. This isn’t the same for people, because unlike a product, people change with new experiences and grow with new challenges over time. They have the capacity for growth which allows them to continuously transform over the course of the relationship.
The problem isn’t that love is doomed to fail based on the loss of desire, it’s in finding a partner that grows in the same direction as the path you’re walking. In doing so, you will realize their mystery is forever ungraspable. And as soon as we can understand this, sustained desire becomes a real possibility.
i just want to wake up with you
the world turned to bring us closer
it spun on itself and within us
and joined us together in this dream.
separated from reality, we fell for each other
in the twilight hours we explored
ourselves, our feelings, our future
You, and I, quickly became Us
in that transformation we grew together
broken in all the right places, we fit.
we were the completion of a circuit
setting each other free, to feel, to love
to see, to experience electricity.
it is all so real, but unrealized
as our love is left in the darkness of the night
and that’s the problem with dreams…
i just want to wake up with you.
203. inspiring passion
Discovering a passion is a wonderful feeling. It’s a burning sensation that ignites a path to a new experience. The light of it’s explosion allows us to see new possibilities that we may move on to when the flame inevitably dies out. But what about those passions that don’t burn out? What differentiates those that burn out from the ones that develop into something that lights our world on fire?
It comes down to inspiration. Normally, we need inspiration to pursue the passion. We need the promise of an end result to continue the pursuit. We think; if I practice this instrument, I can play music; if I workout, I can be fit; if I go back to college, I can get a new job. But if the results aren’t delivered fast enough our resolve wains in the process, and the fire dies out and we move on.
However, if we discover a passion that provides inspiration, instead of requiring it, it will simply grow over time because it aligns with the person we want to be. It’s the difference between working out because we need to be in shape for a wedding, and working out because it makes us feel good. It’s the difference between entering into a relationship because you’re lonely, versus entering it because you simply want to make the other person happy. The former requires inspiration, while the latter creates inspiration for the fire to burn brighter.
It seems that finding a passion that creates inspiration is rare, yet for those that do, they lead the lives we all aspire to. So, find a passion that inspires you to dive deeper into it.
187. all in
If you want something, go after it with your whole heart. Don’t wait, shuffle, or dally in your attempt because it’s only with full intention that we’re able to truly discover the possibilities that lay waiting.
We often have the highest of expectations as we endeavor into a new territory, yet we stay reserved in our approach. Why? Because we want to keep enough distance from something so that we can pull back if we need to, but the thing is that reservation is going to keep you from truly understanding what that thing has to offer.
The only option should be to go in with everything you have. To fully feel, love, see, taste, touch; and to immerse yourself into the experience of what it would be like to be that person. Anything less will never offer a true representation of that thing you’re after, and can very well give you the wrong impression.
Let the fire light the way, so that the experience can brand you. Let it lead you to a new life, or leave you with a memory to never return. Fully explore the thing you’re after so that you can truly know whether or not it is what you want, because anything else is just an assumption.
157. well adjusted people don’t change the world
Don’t talk about your dreams with people who will try to protect you from heartache. The process to finding your limitations takes exploration, which inevitably involves failure. Trying to safe someone before they start can only stifle the process of discovering yourself and your capabilities.
There’s always going to be a reason not to do something, to remain safe, to stay close, to color within the lines, to choose avoidance instead of adventure. But remember, it took a dreamer without imposed limitations to create the very spaces you so dearly covet now. Without their ability to throw off the reigns of limitation, wrapped in safety, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the bounds you currently find yourself within.
Well adjusted people don’t change the world. So, if you choose to share your dreams, do so knowing that they may be met with opposition, but that is no reason not to take the leap.
148. passions change, purpose endures
Most often we let our passions direct our path in life. We jump from one to another, mistakenly thinking the next one will surely be what we’re after, without realizing that passions will always come and go. Continually letting momentary desires dictate our path through life can be a fun existence, yet will inevitably fail to provide us with a life of purpose, which is where the focus needs to be.
Yet, in a world that changes as often as our passionate pursuits, how can you discover your purpose? You do so by discovering what is changeless about you. If one week you’re passionate about painting, the next about photography, and the week after that you’re into writing, perhaps your purpose is to express yourself creatively. Finding purpose isn’t simply something you stumble upon, it is something you have to uncover by putting the pieces together. It’s an inward journey, instead of an outward pursuit.
Passion and purpose are altogether different. There’s nothing wrong with exploring a passion as long as it provides insight to what gives us purpose. We’ll have many different passions throughout our lifetime, but purpose will never change. The sooner we can uncover what truly drives us, the sooner we can live a fulfilling life.