304. bad things happen
Bad things happen. And yes, they do happen for a reason. However, it’s likely not part of some divine unfolding narrative, but rather some random occurrence we’re caught in the middle of. The reason comes from the purpose those bad experiences allow us to see. It’s a realization that this bad thing — a job loss, breakup, or health issues — might not have happened if we weren’t walking down the wrong path. Whatever it is, the reason it happened is to provide a catalyst for change. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to accept the “bad things” that happen as simply things that happen, we can use them to make positive changes in our lives and not fall victim to these random occurrences.
292. excellence requires grit
Excellence requires repetition.
Day in and day out, repetition is necessary for you to be great at anything. Even if your passion and purpose perfectly align, and you completely love what you’re doing, there are going to be days where what you’re doing is reduced to a daily checklist. Feelings of boredom or frustration are bound to manifest even with the most ideal of routines. So besides loving what you do, it also becomes necessary to develop a gritty or tenacious mindset to make it through those days.
Without a bit of grit or tenacity to drive you through the boredom or frustration that accompanies every routine, you can quickly lose your way. Developing a mindset that allows you to bite down and make it through can save you a lot of lost time spent on distractions from what you truly enjoy and are bound to return to anyway.
So on those inevitable days where you don’t want to show up because you’re simply frustrated with the routine of having to go to the gym, sit down to write, teach what interests you, or any of the variety of things that align with your passion and purpose, remember to stay gritty and remain focused so you can make it through the day. In the end, completing the tasks you care about, no matter the frustration attached, will always be met with more gratification and therefore excellence, than succumbing to the temptation of breaking your routine.
283. two journey’s
We take two journey’s.
The first is the Hero’s Journey, popularized by Joseph Campbell. It takes us from believing that we are what our parents or society told us to be, to shedding those ideals, and going through the process of uncovering who we truly are, where we eventually take on a new identity.
The second, is that of the Artist’s Journey. It’s what Steven Pressfield refers to as “bringing our gift to the world.” It’s the act of living our purpose. It’s the special thing we uncovered in the process of completing the Hero’s Journey that inspires us to show up in the world, and is what provides for the Artist’s Journey to take place. For example, if we find that expressing ourselves through the medium of writing is what allows us to be the person we want to be, then writing is what we need to do. The Artist’s Journey is about showing up in the world and using that special thing that motivates you to be creative or productive.
Think of it like this… the first half of our lives we are creating a vessel to be filled, and in the second — after we know what it takes to live with purpose and find fulfillment in our actions — we fill the vessel.
Both journey’s are of equal challenge and importance, but the sooner we can build our vessel, the sooner we can live with purpose.
263. what gives light
If we seek to live a life that is only about pleasure, the moment it ceases to be fun or comfortable, we quit. However, if we can set aside our wish for immediate gratification by choosing to strive for something greater than can be delivered in a moment, we no longer have to fight the dis-ease or dis-comfort of the difficulties that may arise. Instead, we can accept what comes along as small sacrifices on our path toward a purposeful pursuit or a lasting love.
What give’s light, must endure the burning.
258. hard experiences
Translate your hard experiences into a mission.
We wonder what we’re supposed to do with this life. Often comparing ourselves to those who seem to have it all figured out. However, it isn’t so much that those people have it figured out as they have used their past struggles, hardships, and experiences as a catalyst to create something meaningful.
The tough times any of us are able to make it through offer a unique insight about how to overcome negative experiences, or better yet, avoid them all together. For example, some of the best doctors battled and overcame specific illnesses, only to become the leading practitioners in their field. They were able to translate their difficult experience into a mission.
Any of us can do the same. And it doesn’t have to be as grand of a gesture as saving a life. It can be anything we’ve struggled with, learned from and overcame such as a weight loss journey or overcoming depression. Our tough times are growth experiences that put us in a position to help those that face the same challenges we made it through. So if we are struggling to find a purpose, use what you’ve been through to make a difference.
228. what does impossible look like?
What does impossible look like?
It looks familiar.
You wake up. Eat breakfast. Check your electronic device for emails, messages, and updates. You respond accordingly. Then you travel somewhere to complete a task — work or school or another creative endeavor. You talk to people, here and there, gaining insight from shared conversations. Email, messages, and updates are checked again, before you move on to lunch. Then another task, more conversations and so on. Interspersed in there somewhere you grab a shower, get some sleep, hit the gym, and put the kids to bed. And repeat.
The underlying process and fundamental execution of your daily tasks all look the same — no matter if you’re striving for a moonshot project or implementing a new dietary regimen.
We often fail to make changes in our life because we’re afraid that pursuing the impossible means we will have to upend all the familiar processes we have in place. This isn’t necessarily the case. Yes, you will have to change who you converse with if you want to make it to Mars, just as you will have to change the way you eat if you wish to be healthier, but you still have to talk to people and you still have to eat. You still have to travel from place to place, check your email, and remain focused. It’s no different than any other day, with the caveat that in going after the impossible you can complete all the things you were already doing with a new sense of purpose.
If you can understand that doing the impossible — whatever that really means for you — isn’t going to be as unfamiliar as you think, then perhaps you will find the necessary confidence to press forward and go after the impossible.
225. tribes
We used to be born into tribes. We didn’t have to find people from other countries or walks of life that share our values or ideas, and then try to create our own. We had very little choice in the matter, but what it gave us was a sense of belonging, identity, and continuity.
We didn’t have to figure out who we were because being born into a tribe inherently meant… “I know who I am, because I know who I am a part of.”
We didn’t have to wonder what to do because the tribe would automatically dictate our approach… “I know what to do, because, I do what I am told.”
We didn’t have to worry about finding purpose because our relationships were organized in a way that gave us a sense of duty and obligation… “I am happy when I fulfill the tasks that are expected of me.”
We weren’t raised for autonomy. We weren’t raised to use our words to say what we want. We were raised to know what other people want from us. Despite the gap in time, we are, to a large extent, still these people.
In the transition from childhood to adulting we are thrust into a world of autonomy, and most of us have no idea how to find our place in the modern world. Hence, the boom in the self-help book genre. We’re all looking to find our place. We have never been more free to make our own decisions, yet more alone in the process.
So, how can we overcome this challenge?
Unfortunately, I don’t see that there is any “quick fix” because, in a way, the whole concept of autonomy is going against human nature. We exist to work together. However, in finding your tribe, I think the best approach for any of us will be to focus more on ways of showing the world who you are comfortable being, rather than trying to find somewhere you’d like to fit in. Your tribe should gravitate toward you, not the other way around.
In essence, this whole concept of starting this blog and sharing my ideas is a way to find my place in the world. To work out my ideas and hopefully find others along the way. All we can really do is try, learn, adapt, and grow. And eventually, if we show up consistently, and with conviction, we’re bound to find our tribe.
213. wake up with purpose…
At one point or another we’ve all found ourselves headed down a path we thought we were supposed to be on, whether through social pressures or what seemed like the best route to deliver a result we were after. All the while we having to continually convince ourselves to do the work necessary, instead of waking up and enjoying the process. Why is that? Perhaps, it’s the wrong path. But how do you know?
If you’re walking around continuing to do things because you feel you should, instead of finding enjoyment in them because you get to do them, then the narrative you’re following is no longer yours. Your purpose has been coopted by outside forces and is probably the reason you have to convince yourself to do certain things, or make certain decisions.
There’s a difference between saying, “I should” do something, and “I get to” do something.” If you keep saying you “should” do something, it’s a good indication that whatever it is, isn’t aligned with what you’re truly after; and you need to ask why you have to force yourself down this particular path. Whereas, if you wake up every morning, saying “I get to” do this or that (like read, write, workout, go to work, or see someone), then you can feel confident you’re on the right path.
We’re all going to find more success if we follow the path directed by the things we “get to do” instead of relying on the things we “should be doing” to deliver us to a result. One pulls us in, inspires us to do more, while the other only pushes us toward a specific end, where once achieved, we can finally explore what we actually want. So, why wait? Listen to the words you use to describe your actions. Are they, “I get to” do this,” or “I should do that?”
189. purpose
Wake up everyday with a purpose.
How do you know if you have purpose?
If you don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning, then you haven’t found it. If your days are wasted on activities that fill your time, instead of create meaning, then you haven’t found it.
If you haven’t found it yet, that’s okay, but be aware that you’re wasting your fucking time on things that do not matter, and at the same time will keep you as a lesser version of who you can be.
How do I find purpose?
It starts with awareness. Who you are today, and what you consistently do is either keeping you within the bounds you’ve created for yourself, or seeks to continually extend the limits of where you feel comfortable.
Everything of beauty and awe in this life is predicated on growth, this includes you. The purpose of the flower is to bloom, just as the purpose of the caterpillar, much like your’s is to transform into something new. That newness and beauty comes from the metamorphosis, the change, the ability to redefine ourselves, and continually draw lines in the sand further and further away from our starting point, so that one day, when we look back we can’t recognize who we used to be because we are so enamored with who we’ve become.
Purpose comes with whatever makes you a better version of yourself. It’s the reason to get out of bed in the morning, its the reason not to waste time on things that don’t matter. It’s what people of lesser ambition, and who are scared to answer the call, think of as “work” when in reality, it’s just ceasing on every small opportunity to recreate our identity. Eventually, the those incremental changes become part of our purpose, creating a life built on momentum that we never want to stop.
That’s purpose.
159. just say no
We are often quick to say yes, even when it is accompanied with vague attraction, and apprehension. Not wanting to miss out. Not wanting to disappoint. We acquiesce. We say yes because we want to appease those around us, when in reality it is taking precious time away from the purposeful work we’d rather be doing.
Wasting time doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves to people we don’t care for, and an expectation to get things we don’t need, will never serve us. We don’t say no because we want to be liked, or worse yet, to fuel a version of ourselves we don’t really even enjoy. We’re afraid to say no because we fear the consequences of being ourselves. Yet, overcoming this fear is the first step to becoming who we want to be. In doing so, we’re not sharing time with a version of ourselves we no longer wish to be, which allows us to redefine ourselves moving forward.
When you decide to say no, you may lose friends, and people will say you’ve changed, but that is the whole point of living. As we go through this life we are supposed to change. It is part of growth. To be who we want to be, we need the freedom, the time, and the support from people who share our passions, not take away from them. Don’t be afraid to say no, so that you can build the life you want.
157. well adjusted people don’t change the world
Don’t talk about your dreams with people who will try to protect you from heartache. The process to finding your limitations takes exploration, which inevitably involves failure. Trying to safe someone before they start can only stifle the process of discovering yourself and your capabilities.
There’s always going to be a reason not to do something, to remain safe, to stay close, to color within the lines, to choose avoidance instead of adventure. But remember, it took a dreamer without imposed limitations to create the very spaces you so dearly covet now. Without their ability to throw off the reigns of limitation, wrapped in safety, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the bounds you currently find yourself within.
Well adjusted people don’t change the world. So, if you choose to share your dreams, do so knowing that they may be met with opposition, but that is no reason not to take the leap.
156. recognize the walls
We are a unique species, in that we build our own prisons. So prideful of their design, we strictly guard them with our beliefs and actions. Anything from a thought process, a dietary regimen, to a habitual routine become a way of life that we build walls around. Purposeful as it may be, it’s still a box many of us fail to realize we’ve created for ourselves.
Some of us can become so focused on achieving something that we completely block out anything that doesn’t serve the end result. It’s a gift and a curse, because while that laser-like focus will most likely deliver us to what we’re after, we lose the input that makes life what it is. We can get so locked into something that we forget that it was our adventurous spirit and curiosity that first allowed us to discover the very thing our world revolves around now.
We shouldn’t be afraid to periodically step away so that we can come back and rediscover the thing we love so much, seeing it with a fresh perspective, and perhaps gaining a new respect for the thing we so cherish in the process. The real path to discovering what we’re after, as Proust said, “consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” We all need to reserve the ability to step away sometimes or else we will lose the capacity to see the prison we’ve created by no longer being able to recognize the walls.
154. thinking & knowing
Some people spend so much time thinking about what is thought to be a good life, to actually create one for themselves. Others know what they want and go after it despite how it may be perceived.
Thinking is when you decide to pursue a career because you find the pay and benefits appealing.
Knowing is when you feel called to a profession because of an inner sense of purpose.
Thinking is when you decide to find a partner because it’s time to settle down.
Knowing is when you realize your destiny is inexorably linked with that of the person you love.
Thinking is rooted in fear. Fear of not making enough. Fear of being alone. Fear of creating your own path. Fear of failure.
Knowing comes from a place of freedom. A place in which you know there is no other choice you could make.
We’re never interested in the stories about those people who gave up on their dream to follow the rules and live an average life. We’re always enamored with stories of people who knew what they wanted and chased it down. This isn’t to say that you need to change the world to create a life worthy of a story, but that you need to stop thinking and go after what you know is right.
148. passions change, purpose endures
Most often we let our passions direct our path in life. We jump from one to another, mistakenly thinking the next one will surely be what we’re after, without realizing that passions will always come and go. Continually letting momentary desires dictate our path through life can be a fun existence, yet will inevitably fail to provide us with a life of purpose, which is where the focus needs to be.
Yet, in a world that changes as often as our passionate pursuits, how can you discover your purpose? You do so by discovering what is changeless about you. If one week you’re passionate about painting, the next about photography, and the week after that you’re into writing, perhaps your purpose is to express yourself creatively. Finding purpose isn’t simply something you stumble upon, it is something you have to uncover by putting the pieces together. It’s an inward journey, instead of an outward pursuit.
Passion and purpose are altogether different. There’s nothing wrong with exploring a passion as long as it provides insight to what gives us purpose. We’ll have many different passions throughout our lifetime, but purpose will never change. The sooner we can uncover what truly drives us, the sooner we can live a fulfilling life.