176. seeking resolution
We all have habits, good and bad. But it’s not the habit we’re after. It’s the feeling we derive from the execution of that habit.
We don’t want to journal, we want to think clearly. We don’t want to smoke, we want to alleviate our anxiety. We don’t want to workout, we want the result the workout delivers.
Habits are driven by the prediction of what the behavior will give us. What we’re after is resolution. A stimulus that either extinguishes or suppresses feelings or urges that arise within us.
As with everything else, certain things serve us, while others don’t. If a habit isn’t making you better, it’s keeping you from getting better. That emotion or urge you seek to chronically suppress is most likely the manifestation of an underlying need. It is something that deserves to be explored further, not overlooked. When the underlying message is brought to your attention it can be dealt with in a better way, leading to positive changes, and perhaps the elimination of bad habits.
conflict leads to resolution
Conflict is necessary for growth. without it you will never be able to find resolution. Whether emotional, monetary, physical, or anything else you’re confronted with, conflict acts as the universe’s way of revealing you to yourself. It acts as a mirror to show you that your current path isn’t working. When you love someone but they break your heart, or you find yourself overweight to the point that you do not fit into something that you should. That is conflict. No amount of information, or glaring signs along the way can bring you to the realization that something needs to change quite like a moment of conflict. It’s painful, but necessary.
Coming to a realization is the most painful part of the process. It’s why most people fail to progress because it’s hard to look at who you are, all you identify with, and tell yourself you need to be someone new, or be with someone else. We all wish it were easy. We all want the “happily ever after” without the pain of being confronted with conflicts, but it needs to happen. You need to feel the heartache. You need to see experience the discomfort. Only then will you be shaken out of your paralysis of complacency.
Think about a fairytale that goes like this… There’s a fabulous kindle with the most beautiful princess and handsome prince who decided to get married and live happily ever after. These people would make the absolute fucking worst dinner guests. How could anyone relate?!
Conflict brings awareness to our transgressions, and leads to our eventual resolution. It’s a necessary part of everyone’s journey in life, love, and health. When we think back, never do we regret a moment of conflict. Instead we embrace it as a turning point in our life that allowed us to take the first steps of who we can be. Don’t waste your moments. Use them to find a better life for yourself.