301. hustle & grind vs. hustle & flow
We mistakenly glorify the hustle and grind. Don’t get me wrong, we should always exude a measurable level of commitment, but wearing the ability to get by on as little sleep as possible as a badge of honor that symbolizes our work ethic or toughness is just a failure of priorities.
We buy into the idea of the grind because we want our hard work to mean something. We want all our discomfort and sacrificing of the present to pay off in the future so that we can finally enjoy what we’ve been putting off the whole time. But that is where we need to start — with the end in mind. Most likely, that thing we are hustling and grinding for isn’t money or fame, but freedom to explore what we love and the ability to be admired for sharing it with the world.
The unfortunate part is that a focus on the grind takes our focus away from what we should be fixated on, placing it on toil, instead of redefining the hustle. The whole purpose of this life is centered around achieving your purpose and your why. This means you’re so aligned with the effort it takes to get where you want to go, that it doesn’t feel like a grind or a sacrifice, but every step becomes an enjoyable part of the process, no matter the effort. It’s a perfect alignment of your purpose becoming the thing that drives you and directs your life. It’s having all your hard work deliver you to your why. It’s more hustle and flow than hustle and grind.
299. it’s about compromise, right?
People in unhappy or unfulfilling relationships often say things like “relationships are about compromise, right?” More often than not, it seems like this sentiment stems from one person feeling pressured into doing what the other wants by pushing solutions that don’t seem fair. But real compromise feels different. It doesn’t mean mutual sacrifice; it means a balancing of desires. It’s a feeling that your needs are taken into account, and even if you don’t get everything you want, you, as well as your partner, both feel as though you got enough of what you needed.
Compromise doesn’t need to be a painful experience. It largely comes down to the emotional maturity of the people we’re involved with. The best outcomes are from those who are so attentive and connected that it’s enjoyable to work things out with them. They care about how you feel, and don’t want you to be dissatisfied. And because they have empathy, they won’t feel settled if you’re unhappy with the outcome. So don’t compromise your needs, cultivate your own emotional maturity, and find someone that is willing to balance your desires.
278. proving the process
We all want to improve some aspect of our lives. Most of our attempts come through the act of goal setting. Unfortunately, as good as goals can be as an initial motivator, they come with a downside of becoming useless once achieved. So we’re constantly tasked with setting new goals, which may work for some people, but for others, it’s likely that the continued sacrifice and grind of denying who we are or how we want to live to achieve something can take a toll until we eventually quit altogether. But there’s a better way to look at it.
Instead of goal setting being black and white, either achieved or not, think of it as a testing process. To see what works, what doesn’t, and what can be implemented into a longterm process of achieving, instead of achievement. There is no point in denying ourselves the things we enjoy or sacrificing parts of our life to achieve something, only to say we achieved a result for a brief moment before we revert back to doing the things we enjoyed.
The simplest way to achieve something is usually not the most sustainable or easiest way for us to get there, and that’s okay. The simplest way to achieve a weight loss goal is to severely restrict calories and workout intensely. The simplest way to achieve a goal of financial independence is to stop spending money and work feverishly. While either goal is admirable, the sacrifice it takes to achieve them likely isn’t sustainable for the majority of us, because simple doesn’t equal easy.
It’s better to use our attempts at achieving goals to figure out small things that we can stick with and implement into our lives, so that over time we can achieve what we’re after without having to sacrifice all our fun and enjoyment. Pretty soon, those small things we’ve added in, simply become part of the process of our daily lives, not part of a goal we’re trying to achieve. And because we continue to add those small parts in, we can arrive at the same end point of a healthy weight or hefty bank account while not having to worry about regressing or falling back into old habits.
We will be better off if we can reframe the process of constant goal achievement, into a process of achieving. In the end, we’ll no longer need a goal when our process is proven over time.
263. what gives light
If we seek to live a life that is only about pleasure, the moment it ceases to be fun or comfortable, we quit. However, if we can set aside our wish for immediate gratification by choosing to strive for something greater than can be delivered in a moment, we no longer have to fight the dis-ease or dis-comfort of the difficulties that may arise. Instead, we can accept what comes along as small sacrifices on our path toward a purposeful pursuit or a lasting love.
What give’s light, must endure the burning.
200. different direction
We all want a good life. Some of us think of it as a journey, others as a destination. There’s no right answer as both ultimately end in a similar fashion. We’ve all heard the argument that it is better to do what you love, yet at the same time we know it can be very hard to build a life around watching cat videos on YouTube. So where do we draw the line between enjoying the journey by doing what we love, and setting aside some of our enjoyment along the way to end up at an enviable destination? Some bit of sacrifice is necessary for either option, and that’s the struggle we all deal with.
We can all agree that life should be enjoyable. And, no one deserves anything less. But what happens if in the process of enjoying the journey, something comes along that makes you question the path you’ve chosen? That maybe a bit of sacrifice in one area is necessary for us to gain in another. At a fundamental level, if something shakes you so profoundly that it makes you stop and rethink your resolve about the path you’re on, then it is definitely worth paying attention to. It’s a rare occurrence that shouldn’t be ignored.
Maybe what we thought we were after just isn’t so anymore. And all the choices, successes and failures we’ve encountered up to this point, were just preparation for this moment. The funny thing is that, it just leads back to life being a journey, instead of a destination to reach. You can make all the plans you want, by either trying to create a life out of enjoyment or building one that you can enjoy in the future. But you still have to take it as it comes. Adjust your views as you encounter new perspectives, realign your trajectory, and always keep moving forward, even if it is in a different direction.