232. the dance of love
The paradox of love is that it requires a balance between two opposing forces: surrender and autonomy. We can only find togetherness, if we are able to maintain our separateness. As Esther Perel says in Mating in Captivity, “with too much distance, there can be no connection. But too much merging eradicates the separateness of two distinct individuals. Then there is nothing more to transcend, no bridge to walk on, no one to visit on the other side, no other internal world to enter.”
In this way, love is a dance. Watch any dancing couple, you will see that much of the time they exist together as one on the dance floor, while they’re isolated from one another at other times so they can fulfill their unique movements that create the performance. Holding each other in a tight embrace, not moving, is only interesting in the contrast of the separateness and explicit movements that follow. When people come together — in a relationship or in the expression of dance — connection is no longer able to happen as there isn’t anyone to connect with. Thus, separateness becomes necessary to create the potential for connection.
227. you never know
You never know what is going to happen. As someone famous once said… “You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather.” So, with that understanding, always be open to the situation you find yourself in. Approach the moments of wonder as equally as those of devastation.
Surrender to that which is unchangeable outside of you, and adapt what is within you. Have the presence of mind that nothing can ever really hurt you, as all our experiences are inherently “neutral.” It is our reaction to life’s events that determine how we move forward.
We can be grateful for how far we’ve come and the experiences we’ve had, or we can be tortured by the thoughts of what if. One will lead to a brighter tomorrow, while the other may keep us from it.
190. surrender
Nothing can stop the irresistible force. Just as nothing can stir the immoveable object. Yet, paradoxically, they’re allowed to exist within the same universe.
So, what happens when these opposing forces collide? Everything and Nothing all at the same time. It’s unfulfilled potential energy.
Crushing momentum colliding with absolute stillness. Individually, they hold the power of the universe, and if recognized, together they can become the Universe. Celestial. Devine. Ethereal.
With a contrast so great, how can one influence the other? Can these forces coexist?
Never with the all consuming motives of one, nor the steadfast intentions of another. Only with the equal recognition that one holds the opposing power to complete the other.
Surrender is the only path forward…
Where one enacts motion to search for what it needs, the other employs inertia to stand for what it believes. Neither is wrong, but their potential remains incomplete without the attributes of their opposing force. Only in surrender can one fulfill the others potential.
Surrender holds the answer because it gives into the gravity, the attracting law between two opposing forces. It is what creates the universal principle of Ying and Yang.
Their true potential will remain unfulfilled without the recognition that either has a need for what the other holds.
…
A bit of introspection…. I always loved the quote, “find something you love, and let it kill you.” And, I finally think I understand what it means. We’re all locked into a certain identity, it can be the irresistible force, or the immoveable object. Whatever it is, It is what defines us. Finding something we love is bound to shift our trajectory because it requires an acceptance of an opposing force. This jolts our identity, hopefully for the good. And that is where the death comes. It’s not a literal killing, but a shedding of an identity that who we were has passed, and this new thing that defines us is who we are going forward. So surrender to the thing that you love, let it “kill you”, so you can move forward and create a world of untapped potential.