237. willingness
We all want to be free, but what does that really mean? We seem to think it’s the ability to do whatever we want, yet we would be wrong. Freedom isn’t the ability to do whatever we want, it’s the willingness to do so.
We think, “if I only had this much money or that much time, I could finally have the freedom to do what I wanted.” But that’s bullshit. If we were really forced to make a change, we would most likely realize we already have enough money and time to make the necessary changes that would put us on a path toward the life we want. Will it be perfect? Probably not, but that’s freedom.
We have a lot more freedom than our excuses allow us to believe. The things we tell ourselves are just stories to keep us in familiar territory because we are afraid of the consequences or the push back or the unknown that actually comes with the willingness to be free. We aren’t lacking freedom because we’re missing some liberating force in our lives, we lack freedom because we are stuck in our ways.
207. the dizziness of freedom
One of the scariest parts about embarking on a new journey is not knowing where it may take us. We hope for the best, while at the same time harbor anxiety about what is to come of our decisions; no matter whether it’s a new dietary regimen, a new career or a new relationship. And while each situation can be promising, they still come with a bit of unease, which Kierkegaard cleverly surmises this anxiety as “the dizziness of freedom.”
The dizziness doesn’t come from fear of failure, so much as it is about the unknown of what lies ahead. The freedom to look down that new path, with no end in sight, is akin to peering into a deep hole where the bottom can’t be seen. The anxiety you feel is not from fear of falling, because you are freely holding onto the safety rail, but from the mystery of the void.
The freedom we possess to make our own choices will always be met with a bit of anxiety because we are always worried about the unknown, even if that path we’re staring down is exactly where we want to be. But, that unknown is part of our journey, what creates our story, and pushes the evolution of us. As long as that path we set out on is inline with who we want to become, we don’t really need to see the end because we will be able to create it as we go.