275. the average
We all exist as potential. Most of the time we don’t realize what we can be because we’re too stuck in the ways we were. It’s hard to get out of the loop of doing what’s familiar so that we can realize what else is possible. Part of that process is becoming vulnerable enough to recognize our faults and want to improve upon them.
Another part is having people in our lives who inspire us to make those changes because they themselves are doing the same. As the saying goes; “we are the average of the 5 people we spend most of our time with.” So if those people aren’t reflecting the values and aspirations we hold highest in ourselves or pushing us to realize our potential, then most likely they are holding us back from realizing it. And I think the hardest part about this is that it isn’t unique to friends, it is all encompassing from family members, to significant others, to business partners. Sometimes who we have in our lives, isn’t who should be there.
243. out of the corner
There are too many of us who suffer from being lonely. Not for lack of contact or social interaction, but because we aren’t free from our past trauma. We live in a world surrounded by people, yet exist alone, off in a corner with our thoughts. Unable to find the words to speak about the things we’ve gone through or things that have happened to us, we walk alone in a crowd. The only way to break free, to begin to heal ourselves and to grow is to not be scared of vulnerability. It’s okay to stumble over the articulation of our pain on our path to finding our truth. It is not going to be easy, but it is a necessary step toward healing, and perhaps the only thing that is going to bring us out of the corner.
vulnerability is necessary for change
A client of mine, while happy with his progress, was having trouble accepting how certain things weren’t as they used to be. It’s inevitable that we’ll miss certain parts of our past selves as we move away who we were, but we have to let go of the things that do not serve the person we want to become. A large part of that is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. I sent him the following, hopefully if you’re having trouble in your journey it can help you too…
“You’ll be a different person in a year from now, but in order to get there, you have to go through the process of transformation, in both body and mind. There’s that period of time where the caterpillar goes into the cocoon and is most vulnerable, in doing so, it comes out on the other side a new “person.” A certain part of the process is delaying gratification, another part is finding patience and learning to love the journey of who you can be. It’s a scary process because it’s a divergence from everything you have ever known. However, in order to grow, it’s going to require you to accept the vulnerability of change — just as the caterpillar accepts going into the cocoon — so you can allow yourself the opportunity to come out a different person on the other side.”