253. making moves
Life is full of challenges. Most of us worry too intensely about each step needing to be considered as forward progress that we reach a point of stagnation. We can no longer push forward because the situation we’re in no longer serves the person we want to be, while at the same time, we don’t allow ourselves to create a lateral move, much less take a small step back, to reset the momentum which ultimately has the potential to propel us forward.
Anything less than continual progress is considered failure. We make the mistake in believing that each step needs to move us in the same direction, even if it mean we’re running headfirst into a wall. But it’s important to understand that we aren’t defined by each individual step we take, so much as the trajectory we keep. Sometimes that means making different moves, small changes, or step-backs to keep us moving toward to person we want to become. If we keep avoiding the necessary moves that match where we want to go, the only place we’re going to progress is right off a cliff.
251. fitting in
Where would we be if we worried more about what our future-selves thought about the decisions we make on a daily basis, than the people we currently surround ourselves with? When we’re young, we worry about how we’re perceived by everyone around us. We often make decisions that aren’t in line with who we truly are, instead making those decisions that best fit the narrative we want to fit into. But after a while, we figure out that making decisions based on how we’re perceived by others isn’t the best way to create a life we want to live. At a certain point, we need the courage to stray from the pack we’ve been running with to have a chance to build a life that makes us happy or at least gives us a chance at that happiness.
Part of growing up is separating ourselves from who we thought we were supposed to be — someone defined by the people we surround ourselves with — and the person we need to become — someone defined by making decisions that best align with the future we want to create. The more we struggle and fight who we are, by making decisions that try to fit our lives into a framework that our social group deemed “acceptable,” the less happy and fulfilling our lives will be.
Make decisions based on who you truly want to be, not who you want to impress or fit in with. Sooner or later you’ll realize that the people you were trying to impress weren’t really even paying attention to begin with.