choose a leader, not a friend
Today, I had the good fortune of finding a new gym to workout in. For that I am grateful. However, while I was there a Karen came up to me from across the room to ask me if I could cover my nose with my mask. As frustrating as that is, I complied as to not rock the boat too much in this new environment. She looked like one of my clients — middle aged, health challenged, low muscle tone, with a belly. Just generally looked like someone who has been content with counting years instead of reps or calories. She was polite, but seemingly lost as to what really impacts her health. Apparently, my nasal breathing crossed a line.
After our exchange she turned around to address a group that was gathering in another corner of the gym. Turns out Karen was a TRAINER! Disbelief sat in, and I had to shake my head in bewilderment. There are certain things I don’t get, like how grown men can wear jeans with flip-flops or people that use oat milk — how the fuck do you milk an oat? Even more, I’ll never understand how this person could be held to a standard of a teacher. This isn’t coming from a place of disrespect, but how can anyone expect to learn from someone that is just like them. She was training a group of people just like her — middle aged, over-fat and under-muscled.
Again, I’m not here to criticizing so much as to question how people expect to get better at any health metric or improve body composition if they’re taking advice from basically the man in the mirror? IF you wish to improve, why take advice from someone just like you? I understand there may be a certain level of comfort mixed in with this situation — e.g., someone who looks just like you is easier to get along with because they “know” your problems — but do you really think progress is going to happen? What is the point of working out if there is no progress?
We are the sum of the people we keep around us. Just look at your 5 closest friends. Their income, status, weight, eating and exercising habits, lifestyle, etc. are probably close to yours, which is fine if you are happily enjoying your circle. HOWEVER, if you endeavor to improve your life, you are going to have to step outside your circle. When it comes to business or health, we all need to seek out people who are where we want to be or have accomplished something we wish for ourselves.
We all need a mentor or a leader to show us what is possible to achieve and a path that can take us there. That person NEEDS to be someone outside your circle. If your coach looks like the “before” picture, how far do you really think you’ll be able to grow under their tutelage? Worse yet, how could they even begin to provide you with the idea of a different or greater tomorrow? Inevitably, you will have more of the same.