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306. change the things you say before you start to believe them

You are not your thoughts. Saying things like “I don’t deserved to be loved” or “my life sucks” doesn’t make it true, yet the more we say these negative things to ourselves, the harder it becomes to not believe them. We’ve all experienced heartbreak, loss, pain, and challenges along the way, but just because those events are in the past doesn’t mean we’re not still holding on to their repercussions in the form of negative self talk.

Those thoughts and feelings of negativity will persist until we learn what we need to change or redefine within ourselves. They serve as a beacon of where we need to place our attention so that the pain can be dealt with and healed. If, for example, you haven’t healed from a poor relationship with your parents, you may develop the mistaken belief that you don’t deserve love, and then continue to find partners who mirror your unresolved issues around love. If we don’t deliberately start changing the things we say to ourselves, we’re destined to repeat and recreate the pain over and over again.

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243. out of the corner

There are too many of us who suffer from being lonely. Not for lack of contact or social interaction, but because we aren’t free from our past trauma. We live in a world surrounded by people, yet exist alone, off in a corner with our thoughts. Unable to find the words to speak about the things we’ve gone through or things that have happened to us, we walk alone in a crowd. The only way to break free, to begin to heal ourselves and to grow is to not be scared of vulnerability. It’s okay to stumble over the articulation of our pain on our path to finding our truth. It is not going to be easy, but it is a necessary step toward healing, and perhaps the only thing that is going to bring us out of the corner.

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173. painful guidance

When you’re in pain, whether it’s physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological, acknowledge that within that pain lies the answer to the journey you’re on. The antidote you’re looking for exists within the pain. It’s there for a reason. It is meant to bring awareness to your current state, to bring you into the present moment.

We tend to recoil from pain, when we should be leaning into it. Pain is largely temporal, lasting only a few seconds. It has to keep recreating itself to be present any more than that, yet if it’s recreating itself, it’s there to bring attention to something within ourselves, our body or our mind. Its presence is what holds an old injury or unhealed trauma.

The foundation of those painful disruptions is the source, so let it guide you. Ask yourself; what is this pain? Where does it come from? What is the emotional memory emanating from this space? And then you know what to fix, who to forgive, or what relationship to mend. As you make progress and replace those negative feelings with love and gratitude, you will not only heal past traumas and remove the pain, but you will discover a new way of living.

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