306. change the things you say before you start to believe them

You are not your thoughts. Saying things like “I don’t deserved to be loved” or “my life sucks” doesn’t make it true, yet the more we say these negative things to ourselves, the harder it becomes to not believe them. We’ve all experienced heartbreak, loss, pain, and challenges along the way, but just because those events are in the past doesn’t mean we’re not still holding on to their repercussions in the form of negative self talk.

Those thoughts and feelings of negativity will persist until we learn what we need to change or redefine within ourselves. They serve as a beacon of where we need to place our attention so that the pain can be dealt with and healed. If, for example, you haven’t healed from a poor relationship with your parents, you may develop the mistaken belief that you don’t deserve love, and then continue to find partners who mirror your unresolved issues around love. If we don’t deliberately start changing the things we say to ourselves, we’re destined to repeat and recreate the pain over and over again.