202. law of attraction
We all want certain things, but most of the time, there’s a reason we don’t get them. We fail to realize that we need to embody the things we want to attract.
It’s the Law of Attraction. The idea that you attract what you are. It starts with how you approach the world, your beliefs and perspectives. If you’re not getting what you want, most likely you’re not embodying what you want to attract. You need to be honest with yourself and ask how are you showing up in the world because the energy you put out is the energy you’re going to attract.
Think, who is the person you need to be, to get the things that you’re after. Until you create the person that is reflective of the life you’re after, that person in the mirror will always look the same.
175. data, not directives
We make the mistake of defining ourselves with the language we use to talk about our emotions. Saying, “I am sad,” “I am angry,” or “I am stressed” is saying that all of you is that emotion. It’s similar to a single cloud floating across an otherwise clear blue sky, thinking the day is ruined because this singular thing has taken away our ability to focus on anything else.
Instead of saying you’re sad, angry, or stressed, see if you can notice the emotion for what it is, within the story you are telling yourself. Instead of saying “I am sad,” change the phrase to “I am noticing, I am sad.” By doing this you and your view of life at that moment is no longer 100% wrapped in that emotion, but as yourself experiencing an emotion. This will allow you to recognize that emotions are data, not directives. They are feedback of an experience you are having, not a diagnosis.
Victor Frankl popularized the idea of believing there is a space between stimulus and response, and in that space is the power to choose. It is where growth comes from, once we realize that we have the freedom to choose. If you can create space between any given stimulus and response, there is wisdom to make better choices by not defining yourself with negative terms.
Your emotions shouldn’t have the power to tell you how to act. You are in control and always get to decide how to respond to the stimulus.
156. recognize the walls
We are a unique species, in that we build our own prisons. So prideful of their design, we strictly guard them with our beliefs and actions. Anything from a thought process, a dietary regimen, to a habitual routine become a way of life that we build walls around. Purposeful as it may be, it’s still a box many of us fail to realize we’ve created for ourselves.
Some of us can become so focused on achieving something that we completely block out anything that doesn’t serve the end result. It’s a gift and a curse, because while that laser-like focus will most likely deliver us to what we’re after, we lose the input that makes life what it is. We can get so locked into something that we forget that it was our adventurous spirit and curiosity that first allowed us to discover the very thing our world revolves around now.
We shouldn’t be afraid to periodically step away so that we can come back and rediscover the thing we love so much, seeing it with a fresh perspective, and perhaps gaining a new respect for the thing we so cherish in the process. The real path to discovering what we’re after, as Proust said, “consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” We all need to reserve the ability to step away sometimes or else we will lose the capacity to see the prison we’ve created by no longer being able to recognize the walls.
155. be curious
We seem to have forgotten that we’re all approaching this life from different directions. It has unfortunately become easier to put a label on someone, than it is to entertain a divergent outlook. Sometimes we’re too afraid to see a given viewpoint through a different perspective simply because it challenges the narrative we’ve told ourselves about the world. Instead of listening, we’re quick to say a person is “this” or “that” without truly seeking to understand why they have a difference of opinion. But we forget the fact that everything we know to be true, is just a belief we’ve worked into the story we live by. Where we were once guided by curiosity, we’re now happily walking the path we know.
143. sometimes holding on is only holding us back
We can’t always get what we want. Sometimes our desires are simply unattainable. Yet, we torture ourselves by continuing the chase long after we should quit. We justify our resolve with evidence from others just like us; their stories claiming that with enough time and motivation anything is possible. Sometimes we delude ourselves by thinking that with enough gritty determination we will finally break through, but maybe we’re just too stubborn to see that sometimes holding on is only holding us back.
This is not an attempt to persuade you from chasing your dreams or desires, but if you continue to be met with failure on a specific approach, then it’s time to adjust your focus. Everyone thinks all they need is a little more time, or a little more motivation to finally tackle what they’re after. But what if that thing you’re after is just serving as a distraction for another more fulfilling adventure. It doesn’t have to be in a completely different realm; for instance, if you want to be in the NFL and you’re built like SpongeBob, it’s probably not going to work the way you think it will no matter how long you spend in the gym, but if you shift your focus, maybe you can become a coach or work in the front office. Similarly, if you’re looking to be in a relationship and the person you’re pursuing isn’t interested, you’re wasting your time by continuing to focus on that one person while there is plenty of other people out there.
We need to not be afraid to question the validity of our specific pursuit because that myopic focus can be the very thing that is blinding us to other possibilities and keeping us from actually attaining what we desire.
135. detours
Taking the road less traveled can make all the difference. By exploring new avenues we gain more knowledge about our place in the world and how to move through it more effectively. And yet, the road less traveled may not be what we think. For some, it will be the dirt road with an undefined destination, and for others, a clearly marked highway paved with intention. The road less traveled is simply the one we travel the least. A necessary detour to reset our common approach. The extroverted person may best be served by disconnecting with the world for a while by staying in and reading a book, while the introverted person may benefit from engaging with the world and gaining a new perspective. Some of us need to get out. Some of us need to stay in. But we all need to take a detour sometimes.
104. out of the box
The funny thing about freedom is that it allows us to create our own prisons, it’s just that we call it choice. We can do anything at anytime, but most of us inevitably settle for choosing an ideology that we feel best represents us, or a routine that comforts us. We lock onto that one thing, and it becomes us. The popular views, thoughts, and methods surrounding our particular choice define the way we see and approach the world. Pretty soon we’re locked into a certain perspective, running the risk of blinding ourselves to unforeseen possibilities.
It’s good to have the freedom to choose something that inspires us and provides purpose but it’s important to know that it can become detrimental if we lock ourselves into a certain perspective. If we’re stuck within a certain mindset, location, routine, relationship, methodology, or way of doing things, we never allow ourselves to experience the world we’re missing. Often times, what we’re missing is the very thing that can take our lives to new heights. So do what you love, but get out of the box you’ve created so that you can gain a new appreciation of what you have or new perspective on what you’ve never considered.