118. why do you do what you do
If we look at all the things we do for the sake of something else, is there an end to it all? Why do we work? Why do we need to pay bills? Why do we want to look a certain way? Where do we hope to arrive with our decisions? The inevitable answer at the end of a lengthy string of why’s is happiness. Everything we do is an attempt to find happiness.
On the surface, it’s really hard to argue with this conclusion. We work to earn money so we can trade it for things that give us happiness. This comes in the form of possessions and experiences that we’re continually reminded by with those monthly bills we have to pay. We want to look a certain way to attract a mate. And no matter what we seek out of the relationship, it is in another person we’re searching for happiness. The distant hope of Happiness shines as a guiding light on our journey through life. Whenever we’re faced with options, we choose the one that leads to the most happiness.
Except we don’t, at least not in the longterm, for the simple fact that our brains aren’t wired that way. We are wired like a straight line; the quickest way to happiness being the “best” choice. Too often we choose what makes us happy in the moment, because it’s much easier to just do what we want. Rarely do we sit down to consider the outcomes of our decisions, weighing one against the other, and seeing what would create more happiness longterm. It’s tiring work, and the immediate outcome is hardly satisfying — and the main reason why we don’t always make choices that lead to happiness. Think of how many people you know “fell into” their career. Think of how many people stay in relationships. Think of how many people trade their long-term happiness simply because it requires a little bit of effort for an exponentially more fulfilling experience, for the short-term ease of being happy now.
One of the hardest lessons we’ll have to learn is to make sure our short-term choices are leading us in a direction for long-term happiness. In the end, it will be worth enduring the modicum of struggle to create a more fulfilling life.