322. improve your health
There is an entire industry devoted toward biohacking. Much of the time it serves as a distraction from focusing on the fundamentals of improving health. Rather than getting overwhelmed with all the opinions centered around hacking different aspects of your biology, just work on the basics. You could spend thousands of hours researching the best bio hacks and not come up with a better recommendation to improve your health than to eat whole, unprocessed foods, get outside in the sun, move a lot, sleep like you’re on vacation, surround yourself with loving relationships, and practice a bit of gratitude for everything you experience. You can put all the money you save on gadgets and expensive supplements into building a life that lets you live and capture health how you’re supposed to.
282. better interactions
Most of the problems we encounter with one another arise from our lack of clear and concise communication. Here are a few tips to think about when we’re interacting with someone. Hopefully, with a greater awareness of our thoughts and the words we choose to express them, we can create better, more productive conversations.
Be willing to ask for help.
- Ask for help whenever you need to.
- Remind yourself that if you need something, most people will be happy to help if they can.
- Use clear, intimate communication to ask for what you want, explaining your feelings and the reasons behind your request.
- Trust that most people will listen if you ask them to.
Be yourself, whether people accept you or not.
- State your thoughts clearly and politely, without malice, and do not try to control how people receive it.
- Do not give more energy than you really have.
- Instead of trying to please, give other people a true indication of how you feel.
- Don't volunteer for something if you think you'll resent it later.
- If someone says something you find offensive, you don't need to let the statement go. Try to offer an alternative viewpoint, but don't base the success of the conversation on whether you can change the other person's mind.
Sustaining and appreciating emotional connections.
- Make a point of keeping in touch with people you care about, and returning their messages.
- Think of yourself as someone who can give and receive help from your community of friends.
- Even when people aren't saying the "right" thing, tune into whether they're trying to help. If their effort feels genuine, and makes you feel emotionally nurtured, express your gratitude.
- When someone irritates you, do not say the first thing that comes to mind, think about what you can say to improve the situation and create a mutual understanding. If necessary, wait until you cool off and then ask if the other person is willing to revisit the situation.
Have reasonable expectations.
- Keep in mind that being perfect isn't always necessary. Getting things done is often better than obsessing over getting everything perfect. Adjustments can usually be made after the fact.
- When you get tired, rest or do something different. Your level of physical energy and focus will alert you to when you're doing too much. Don't wait for an accident or produce poor quality work if your head isn't in it.
- When you make a mistake, just remember you're human. Even if you think you've anticipated everything, there will always be unexpected hurdles from time to time.
- Remember that everyone is responsible for their own feelings and for expressing their needs clearly. Beyond common courtesy, it isn't up to you to guess what others want.
Communicate clearly and actively seek preferred outcomes.
- Don't expect people to know what you need unless you tell them. Having someone care about you doesn't mean they automatically know what you're feeling.
- If the people closest to you upset you, use the feelings of pain to identify your underlying need. Then use clear, intimate communication to provide guidance on how they could give it to you.
- When your feelings are hurt, try to understand your reaction first. Did something trigger feelings from your past, or did the person really treat you insensitively? If someone was insensitive, ask them to hear you out.
- Be thoughtful to other people, and if they aren't thoughtful in return, ask them to be more considerate in the future, and then let it go.
- Ask for something as many times as it takes to get a clear answer.
- When you get tired of interacting, politely speak up, asking if there is anyway to continue at another time. Kindly explain that your capacity has been reached at the moment.
234. choosing another
How do you deal with someone you love choosing another over you? Well, if you really love that person, you will honor their choice because love doesn’t judge. It has no agenda. It just is.
All you can really do is think about the beautiful time you spent with that person, whether it was a week, a month, or a year. Find gratitude for the time you were able to experience that person and who you became because of that relationship, instead of feeling depression for the absence of them. Yes, it’s going to hurt for a time and that’s okay because you’re human. There are going to be painful waves of emotion, but after a while they will subside and when they do you will be ready for loves next swell to overtake you.
227. you never know
You never know what is going to happen. As someone famous once said… “You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather.” So, with that understanding, always be open to the situation you find yourself in. Approach the moments of wonder as equally as those of devastation.
Surrender to that which is unchangeable outside of you, and adapt what is within you. Have the presence of mind that nothing can ever really hurt you, as all our experiences are inherently “neutral.” It is our reaction to life’s events that determine how we move forward.
We can be grateful for how far we’ve come and the experiences we’ve had, or we can be tortured by the thoughts of what if. One will lead to a brighter tomorrow, while the other may keep us from it.
170. dwelling
No one is a stranger to creeping negativity, however some are better than others at figuring ways around what is troubling them. Changing the way we think is key to capturing what we’re after instead of wandering into something we don’t want.
Everything is energy, including your thoughts. Whatever you let your mind dwell on is what is going to expand. For instance dwelling on what makes you angry is only going to bring up anger within you; whereas thoughts of gratitude for the good things in your life, as well as what you desire from it, will widen your consciousness within that area, manifesting the positive things that you seek.
The trick is when those inevitable negative thoughts start creeping in, learn to view them as feedback for what you don’t want in your life because worrying is a form of praying for what you don’t want. Once you understand this insight, you can shift your attention to what you want, and create a more fulfilling path forward.
129. turn off fear
Anything we do, we want the best results. No one goes into any situation wanting poor outcomes. Often times we hold ourselves back from performing our best because we are harboring feelings of fear of what might be, forgetting that worry is just a version of praying for what we don’t want. It is necessary to overcome this fear as it does not serve you, or allow you to achieve your best results. You may think that what you need is courage, but that takes a lot of energy to maintain, so it should be saved for times when you’re literally running for your life, or into a fire to save another. Instead, cultivate a mindset around gratitude. Doing so will put your mind at ease as you appreciate all you have at the present moment without letting your mind wander into the future “what if’s” of fear. You can use this practice to turn off fear at a cellular level. With a freedom from fear, you can achieve the best results.