327. exhale
We’re all waiting for inspiration to strike so that we can finally do that thing we’ve been waiting for. But is that the best way?
Inspiration generally means “something that stimulates you into action,” and at the same time it also means to “breathe in.” Both meanings poetically intertwine if we think of ourselves as breathing in thoughts, concepts, and theories that serve to fill our mind with new ideas. Endlessly scrolling through our newsfeed, we inhale countless images, memes, quotes, podcasts, and articles, all with the intention to inspire us into action. Yet, no matter how much we inhale, the majority of us never get enough. We’re always looking for more, thinking that there is something else out there that we haven’t found, and will be the ONE THING we’re after.
Our capacity to continuously breathe in, and in, and in can only get us so far before we must breathe out. But it’s in that exhalation where we find what we’re after.
Nothing is going to be as truly inspiring as the action you take after exhaling all the new ideas we’ve gathered and applying them to produce the work or results we want — whether the endeavor is creative, financial, or personal in nature. In other words, the action we take is the real inspiration we’re after. It’s the action of exhaling, breathing out all the ideas we’ve collected and putting them to use. True inspiration doesn’t come from consuming new information, but rather from incorporating those ideas into the actions we take toward building the life we want.
We make the mistake of thinking that if we keep inhaling books, presentations, talks, tweets, interviews, and documentaries we’re going to suddenly be inspired into the life we want. But the funny thing is, constantly breathing in is actually anti-inspiring because it doesn’t allow us to exhale. We have to breathe out, creating intention with our exhalation, focusing on our output to achieve the inspiration we’re truly after.
Never stop consuming the things that interests you, but know that the inspiration you seek isn’t in the search, it’s in the act of doing.
321. titles
We can’t expect our past accomplishments to permanently define us. We have to continually show up and earn our title. No legacy was ever built as a result of a single achievement. Only by showing up consistently and delivering, time and time again are titles earned.
We like to hold on to old titles because it provides us with a sense of satisfaction without the burden of continued action. But those titles — the ones we wear proudly — required performing, not declaring. If we are going to march through life, exclaiming; “This is who I am!” because we accomplished something one time in the past, we are mistaking ourselves and at the same time being disingenuous to the version of ourselves that found success in the first place.
We need to be honest about what is past and what is present. if you’re not continuing to show up, then you’re not earning the title. So, stop fooling yourself. Get rid of outdated titles that you’re no longer earning because they’re giving you a premature sense of satisfaction that is keeping you from doing the hard work that is necessary.
274. every choice comes with exclusion
Every choice comes with exclusion. Our ability to choose is valuable, in that it gives us the power to create our story. We weigh our options, then choose the best one for us in the moment. Sometimes the choices can be made fairly easily, other times they can be devastatingly hard. In either case, there is always a loss to endure. We inevitably have to give up on one narrative to allow for a chance at another to grow.
263. what gives light
If we seek to live a life that is only about pleasure, the moment it ceases to be fun or comfortable, we quit. However, if we can set aside our wish for immediate gratification by choosing to strive for something greater than can be delivered in a moment, we no longer have to fight the dis-ease or dis-comfort of the difficulties that may arise. Instead, we can accept what comes along as small sacrifices on our path toward a purposeful pursuit or a lasting love.
What give’s light, must endure the burning.
245. training or education
Training and education are entirely different things. Yet, are conflated into the same meaning and used interchangeably.
Rich Diviney states in his book called Attributes that, “training is about learning and practicing specific skills; education is about broadening knowledge, developing beliefs and values, gaining experience.” This isn’t a subtle difference, which can be illustrated by the strangeness of hearing someone say “I’m going to educate my dog today.” WTF!? The statement doesn’t work because we don’t educate dogs, we train them. We teach our “good boy” to sit, stay, or shake. We don’t expect him to understand the how or why of the environment or situation in which we might ask him to do those things. A “good boy” does what we ask, without fail.
Often times when we’re looking to achieve a specific goal, we aren’t interested in being educated so much as trained to reach a particular outcome. While it’s great that we can take orders and achieve our goal with the help of another, it leaves our future results in jeopardy. Yes, finding someone to assist you on your journey is key, but you’ll never find your own results if you are reliant on the commands of another. Take the time you have with your mentor, coach, trainer, parents or whoever you look up to to ask the questions that allow you to take the lead in achieving your outcomes. If you don’t you’ll never be the hero of your story, you’ll just be a part of someone else’s.
236. change your language
If the story you continue to tell yourself doesn’t line up with the actions you take then you need to change the things you say.
Either change your language, or change your message.
There’s no reason to continue to talk about how you want to lose weight, but continue the bad habits that caused you to gain the weight in the first place.
There’s no reason to continue to talk about how you don’t like the job you’re in, but refuse to put effort into updating your resume to see what can come of it.
There’s no reason to continue to talk about how you wish you could find the time to read more, but all the free time you have is spent on social media or in front of the television.
Maybe the things you say you want aren’t as important as you think they are. And that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up trying to fit in a narrative that doesn’t work for you. If you are continuing to fall short on what you tell yourself, take note. There’s a good chance that that story, at least in how you’re currently telling it, isn’t in line with what really needs to happen.
Here’s a personal example… A goal of mine is to be successful and make money simply for being me. I thought that meant I had to build a business around my personality. I kept telling myself over and over, this is how I have to do it, but failed every time. I just don’t care enough about marketing or social media to be “that guy.” So, I changed the way I looked at it all. Instead of saying “I need to be a brand,” I change the language to “I want the freedom to do what I love.” That seemed to make all the difference in the world because I found a place that lets me be me, and they pay me well for it. I have endless potential to grow and create, which is all I wanted from the beginning. But if I stuck to the language that kept failing me, I wouldn’t have found the success that I have now.
222. what’s past is prologue
You get to be the narrator of your life’s story. There’s no rule that says you must be defined by your past. It doesn’t matter who you were, in only matters who you want to become. Don’t fall into the trap of using your past as an excuse that keeps you stuck in habits, attitudes, relationships, and situations that prevent you from growing. Take responsibility for the life you have. If it’s not what you want, then change the way you relate to your story. Base your identity and internal narrative on your future, not your past.
216. labels
Instead of rising to difficult situations, we often fall to the labels we apply to ourselves. For instance, we’ll say “I’m an introvert,” to justify our lack of openness or willingness to try new things. We avoid new experiences, conflict, and anything that runs contradictory to that label, ultimately boxing ourselves into a particular narrative. This only stunts our ability to grow, with every challenging interaction serving as a way to reinforce the idea we have about ourselves. So, if we are going to use labels to identify ourselves, we have to be careful to choose ones that open us up, instead of keeping us closed off.
211. thoughts that don’t go away
When we continue to have thoughts or emotions arise within us that don’t match the narrative we’ve laid out for ourselves, it’s important that we pay attention to them. They’re showing up for a reason. It’s a signal from our unconscious mind that there is something in conflict with the path we’re walking. Maybe we’re going the wrong way, or on the wrong path altogether. Don’t ignore them. Bring awareness to these thoughts and emotions. Identify what situations or experiences cause them to come about and consciously take the time to understand their presence.
Often times we continue down a path simply because we’ve been on it for so long; confusing “right” with familiar. All the while dismissing those thoughts and feelings as just part of the process of getting where we think we want to go, without realizing they may be trying to tell us something. Don’t discount their appearance. Call attention to them, otherwise we may find ourselves continuing down the wrong path for the wrong reasons.
182. mistaken destination
It’s easy to find someone to aspire to. The allure comes from our belief that this person is a finished product.
It’s our understanding that if we walk the same path, we can arrive at the same destination. So we mistakenly mirror all our efforts to those we look up to, in hopes that we can one day become just like them, without realizing that it isn’t about the destination, but the journey.
A wise man once said; “do not seek to follow in the footsteps of those you admire, instead honor their legacy by continuing to search for the things they sought.”
Too often we mistake the destination for the journey. We think, if we do all the things the person we wish to be like did, we can arrive at the same place. Yet, I can guarantee you, that if you had the privilege to ask whether or not they “arrived,” they would wholeheartedly disagree, and instead tell you that they have a long way yet to go.
It’s never going to be a bad thing to model your efforts after someone you aspire to be like, but don’t let your view on the destination become so myopic that you can’t enjoy the journey, because if you ever do “arrive” at that magical destination, your passion will quickly wane, whereas a dedication to the journey will offer a lifetime of fulfillment.
179. refine, not define
Our history will always be a part of our story. Let it refine you, not define you. There is a choice when it comes to how we think, feel, and act. We can be guided by the pain or trauma of past events, which have the power to keep us from personal growth, or we can let go of what happened and choose to let the future we wish to encounter inform our decisions in the present.
If we live from the past, we will always be trying to fix things that happened years ago. Reliving something that cannot be changed is just going to keep you experiencing life in a similar fashion, with the same feelings that it brought about the first time, thus not allowing for growth. There is a choice with how you relate to events in your life. Let it go. If we can change the relationship with our history, allowing it to refine us instead of define us, then we can begin to institute the change we seek.
Looking back as a way to inform our decisions in the present will never serve us. It keeps us stagnant. Growth requires change. Looking forward, being future minded, will inform us of the moves we need to make in order to build the life we want.
178. gravity
We’ve all been a part of a situation or relationship that hasn’t gone our way. The unfortunate part about these things is that we don’t always pick up on the reality of the situation because we can only see the world through our interpretation. While we see something one way, the reality of the situation may be taking us in another. The objections and failures we begin to come up against, may no longer be hurdles to overcome, but signposts directing you to change the way you see the path forward.
It’s difficult to change directions, to let things go, especially when their promise was so great. But an important part of life is coming to the realization that just because you don’t believe in gravity, doesn’t mean that gravity doesn’t believe in you.
177. more information doesn’t help
Most of us know what things we need to do to improve our situation. We know that eating bad food isn’t going to help us lose weight. That working more isn’t going to help us catch up on our sleep. And that spending money isn’t the quickest way to financial freedom. Yet, even though we want to be in shape, well rested, and financially stable, we fail to carry out the very things that would make those things happen.
We stand in the way of our own progress because the path we’re on is familiar. Familiarity is comfortable. It’s proven to be the path of least resistance for the life and identity we’ve created. But that path we’re on is directed by the story we continue to tell ourselves. And it’s always going to be easier to simply repeat or retell our story, than it will be to rewrite the narrative and institute the change we desire.
More information doesn’t help, until you begin to change the narrative you live by.
164. end the chapter…
Nothing last forever, so stop wasting your time on the things that no longer serve the purpose they once did. We progress through this life by seeking out, and sometimes stumbling upon, things that made us better versions of ourselves. What we fail to recognize is that after a time, we learn the lesson these things have presented, after which they no longer serve a purpose other than to perhaps remind us who we are or where we came from. We hold on to them because they have become a part of our identity and the story we tell ourselves. We forget that these things only serve a purpose for a finite amount of time before their usefulness wears out, at which point, they only keep us from progressing to the next stage in our lives.
Holding on most likely won’t hurt us, but no one truly wants to remain stagnant, it’s just that sometimes it’s more comfortable. We need to understand that if it’s not making us better, by challenging or assisting us, then it is only keeping us from becoming better.
Holding on to something that got us this far is never going to create the awareness necessary to take you to the next stages in our personal growth. It’s holding us back because we’re holding on to what it used to be, to what it used to mean to us, or to how it used to make us feel. While nostalgia can be great, it doesn’t make us better, it simply allows us to revisit a time when a certain love, hobby, interest, position, habit, or time in our lives preceded a reason for change.
Coming to the realization that the idea, persona, or concept we continue to hold onto is no longer serving us is sometimes difficult to come to terms with because it has become a part of us. It is what made us who we are by shaping our approach to life up until this point. Separating yourself from the thing/s that brought you to this point in your life will be hard, but it is necessary for growth to continue. Sometimes we need to end the chapter so that we can continue the story.
151. success
Success isn’t the result of any single attribute, it’s coming into alignment with who you are and where you choose to be. It’s the right choice at the right time. The right skill for the right part. The right idea, at the right moment, brought into fruition through a supportive environment. It’s the story we believe; aligning our focus with our purpose. It’s being surrounded by a network that adds value to that story by leveraging your weaknesses, and bolstering your strengths. It’s allowing a level of confidence to forgive yourself when you reach the inevitable roadblock; seeing adversity as a lesson instead of failure. It’s knowing that luck favors the ritual of having all things in order.
150. mistaken acceptance
Comfort and acceptance have become mistakenly interchangeable. It’s commonly thought that we can all lead greater and more fulfilling lives, if only we were able to accept the things we cannot change instead of allowing them to fill our days with concern, right? Wrong. That is the slippery slope of acceptance.
The vast majority of what we choose to accept, in an effort to preserve a level of comfort, is in fact malleable. Everything from our station in life, career path, relationships with others, financial woes, and even the limits placed upon a supposed disability are changeable. Yet, it is far more comfortable to accept them as they are, than to make a concerted effort to change the situation for the better.
Our belief that something is unchangeable, is simply that; a belief. A story we have constructed for ourselves to find comfort in the “what is.” We are constantly finding bias against the way things could be, and instead opting to find comfort in the way things are. All because it is easier to accept a situation we know, instead of stepping into the unknown to create a life that is far more fulfilling than the one you currently find yourself within. We’re all erroneously choosing to live within the bounds of the old idiom; “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.”
122. the beaten path
The trouble is not that life is short, but that we waste so much of it following someone else’s directions while searching for our happiness. Rarely do we sit with our thoughts and truly ask ourselves, “what would be the next best course of action for me to take that will put me on a path to create a better life?” Instead, we find a guru, we google, or youtube, or ask our friends how they did it, or follow any number of narratives put in place by society that are deemed acceptable ways to live your life and find your happiness. But that’s the problem. Your path shouldn’t be defined FOR you, it should be define BY you. Sitting on the shoulders of giants is different than mirroring the footsteps of those that came before you.
Matsuo Basho, a famous poet from the Edo period in Japan, said; “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” Too often we become blinded by the narrative espoused by the “wise” to realize that the path they’re walking isn’t always in alignment with the direction we need to take in life. Even though we may be searching for the same thing, it is important to understand that there are many roads that can lead to the same place.
98. affluence without abundance
We inherently know that more isn’t always better, but this is contrary to everything we been told to live by in our culture. To be happy, you need more school, more career advancement, more money, more friends, more attention, and more material possessions. And even when you have it all, you never really achieve the happiness you were promised.
We are consistently hung up on not having enough, so we create a story within our head that speaks toward inadequacy. “If I only had this much money…” “If I only had this new thing…” “If I only had the body I wanted, I’d be happy.” It’s unfortunate that we are conditioned to believe we are never enough simply because we don’t have enough. And this comes from the narrative we’ve been sold, written by the companies who thrive off our search for happiness as they exploit our thoughts of inadequacy.
If the story you’re being told isn’t making you happy, it’s time to create a new story. The prevailing idea of intentionally working a job you hate, to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t care about, should be replaced with working hard enough at something you enjoy, to provide the things you need, for the people you care about. These are fundamentally different approaches; one breeds a lifetime of inadequacy, stress, poor health and heartbreak, while the other finds fulfillment, love and happiness in the things that truly matter. It’s affluence without abundance.
75. dialogue over dictates
To initiate change, dictates need to be replaced with dialogue. Over the past few days, I have tried to illustrate the issues we’ve been confronted with over the past few months without telling anyone specifically what I think needs to be done do to improve anyone’s health and safety. I firmly believe that no one can be forced to change if they aren’t ready to, no matter how much information is thrown at them. However, I want to be part of the discussion that changes your life, that allows you to create a greater sense of awareness about the world we are living in, and ultimately helps you achieve a healthier life.
The best way to help people find greater personal motivation in their journey is to avoid demotivating their interest by simply telling them what needs to be done, and instead invite them to look at the world from a different perspective, with the hope that it can pique their interest. I have shared many things that have been contradictory to the prevailing “wisdom,” not because I have a political agenda, but because I truly love what I do and want everyone to gain from my passion. As I encourage others to look at things differently, I understand that it can be tough to take the first steps outside of what you’re comfortable with. I get it change is hard. People tend to resist taking on new ideas or behaviors more so because they’re crystal clear about what they’ll lose by changing, but uncertain about what they’ll gain in the process. It’s tough, albeit necessary in these times.
When it comes to creating change, we all tend to overvalue what we’re losing, while undervaluing what we’ll gain. It’s understandable that we don’t eagerly embrace alternatives, yet I think it’s time we start a dialogue about how to move in the direction that seeks to optimize our health instead of cowering in a corner waiting for the status quo to be saved.
71. what if
We’re wired to stay alive, so we’re constantly aware of things that tend to pose a threat to our sense of well-being. But with the advent of modern technology, and knowledge of the past, there are very few things that actually place anything, including our lives in real danger (this may seem absurd in our current climate, but it’s true nonetheless). Still when confronted with a decision in our daily lives, we cannot overcome thoughts of, what if? What if this goes wrong? What if that doesn’t work out? What if I fail at my attempt? What if I decide on the wrong thing? We’re continually worried about a loss to our current self, or our current way of life.
The simplest solution to the “what if” question is to actually find out. If you are wondering what life will be life on the other side of a decision, you are most likely unhappy with your current position, so you may as well find out — as long as it’s not illegal, immoral, or dangerous of course. You’ll be better off failing and knowing because you’ll have gained insight toward making better decisions in the future, and you will no longer need to worry about the “what if” of your current situation. You come to see that the stories you’ve conjured up, form playing years of the “what if” game are just that, stories. They’re not real. Eventually, you will come to see that you suffer more from imagination than reality. In the end, what hurts us more is the fear that “what if” presents in our mind, than the actual failure itself, because as I’ve spoke about before failure is just learning how to do it better the next time.