110. what am I measuring against
The moment you find yourself discouraged about where you are in your journey, it’s important to stop and ask, “what am I measuring against?” Most likely, it’s against your version of ideal. That far off place, just over the horizon. But just like the horizon, you’ll never be able to catch it. It’s unattainable, as it will always remain ahead of you. It’s important to let that far off point serve as a guide, not as a comparison.
When you realize the horizon exists as a guide for your potential and not a place where happiness resides, you should ask yourself, “where did I come from?” And at that moment, you can turn around to look how far you’ve come from the point where you started. All the changes, failures, adjustments, and hardships brought you to the point where you stand today — far closer to the horizon than where you used to be, but still so much more you’ll be able to achieve. So, if you’re disappointed with the progress of your journey, remember to look in the direction that allows you to see how far you’ve come and not how far you need to go.
109. the path
We find comfort in the way things are. We take the beaten path, and say, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” We think, it’s the obvious choice, as it was traveled by all those who came before us.
In the book Think Like a Rocket Scientist, Ozan Varol gives the following example about how far this idea can go:
The width of the engines that powered the space shuttle — one of the most complex machines humankind has ever created — was determined over two thousand years ago by a Roman road engineer… The engines were 4 feet, 8.5 inches wide because that was the width of the rail line that would carry them from Utah to Florida. The width of that rail line, in turn, was based on the width of tramlines in England. The width of the tramlines, in turn, was based on the width of the roads built by the Romans: 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
What we’ve done in the past, has the power to shape what we do next. This not only goes for feats of engineering, but our lives as well. The decisions we’ve made throughout our lives create the waves that impact our future. So, if we do not like what our past has presented us, then we must change our behaviors, thoughts, ideas, mindsets, and lifestyles to create the change we seek.
108. modern disadvantage
Imagine living 10,000 years ago. As the sun draws down over the plains you find yourself huddled around the campfire with your tribe, where the kill from that day’s hunt is roasting on a spit. Waiting to eat the whole animal, organs and all, you gnaw on a collection of berries, roots, and leafy vegetation gathered from pristine mineral-rich soils. Your water came from a nearby stream that is fed by the snow melt from a distant mountain top. You’re outside, with sun kissed skin, in the fresh air, sitting on the ground barefoot, fresh soil under your fingernails from the day’s gathering. The day is over, and there is nothing left to do but enjoy the company of your tribe, the stars, and the sustenance of that days kill. And as darkness takes over, your body will know it’s time to rest, just as it knows to rise with the following day’s sun because that’s natures rhythm.
Fast-forward to your present life. You’re woken up at an ungodly time of the morning by the blaring of an alarm clock that hates your dreams, so that you can be up early enough to beat traffic to a job you probably only work so that you can afford the place you live and buy toys you don’t need. If you’re lucky, you have time to spare to cook a breakfast where you cut up pesticide-aided GMO vegetables, thrown into a few factory-farmed eggs — don’t forget to remove the yolks, we have to think about our cholesterol number! — that are frying in butter made from cows fed a nutrient-poor and ruminantly-incorrect diet of corn. Once the food is done, you eat, clean up with your antibacterial soap, and rush out of the front door. You go from your climate-controlled home, to your climate-controlled car, to your climate-controlled office, where you sit hunched over a desk, staring at a screen all day. You make sure to check your phone regularly to break up the monotony of your 8-hour slog with a continual stream of fresh notifications that satisfy you like a slow morphine drip. The day ends, you’re stuck in traffic breathing in the fumes from the traffic, feeling the stress from the workday and the political talk on the radio, your eyes hurt from all the screen time, and you have no energy to make a decent meal when you arrive home so you order a pizza, eat and fall into a restless sleep to do it all over again tomorrow.
The difference between these two scenarios couldn’t be more stark. We have to deal with with exponentially more chronic stress than our ancestors did, which wears heavily on us, both mentally and physically. Our ancestors weren’t stressed about bills, viruses, work emails, or taxes. They didn’t have Hot Pocket’s or DoorDash to deliver them food that stressed their digestive systems so much that they would need toxic pharmaceutical drugs to counteract the affects of a high stress, nutrient poor diet. The environment we built for ourselves is robbing us of nutrients, and microbial defenses that used to come as part of our diets by default. The way we live now is deficient and sterile. We were tricked into swapping out fat for sugar as it was meant to improve our health, yet the “food” we’re eating is so processed that not even insects will eat it.
As Aubrey Marcus put in in Own the Day, Own Your Life:
“All that artificially and hyper sterility have robbed our bodies of the natural conditioning and the necessary bacteria that come from being outdoors and eating food that grew in the earth or ran, swam, or flew on it. Instead, we become prey to the bacteria — ever sicker, ever more vulnerable. Add to that, the problems of soil that’s been overfarmed, and animals that re undernourished, and you’ve got a recipe for a food supply and an environment that leaves our bodies wanting more.”
We’ve built a society that was meant to be greater than where we came from, but in reality we’re at more of a disadvantage when it comes to our health than ever.
107. happily ever after is a mindset
We all grew up on fairy tales with happy endings. Whether it was slaying the dragon, or marrying the prince, the characters all found their way to “happily ever after.” They gave us the impression that happiness was a destination to be found at the end of the yellow brick road. Accomplish this, or achieve that, and you can live happily ever after. That’s not how real life works. We achieve new things and are met with new obstacles. These stories were great for stirring our imagination, but they also provided us with unrealistic expectation of how to find our “happily ever after” because happiness is ultimately a mindset, not a destination.
Thinking we will someday be happy after we achieve this, or acquire that, will only leave us lost and looking for the next thing to provide us the happiness we were promised in the stories we read when we were young. The truth is, no matter how much we achieve or accomplish we are going to be continually met with new challenges and obstacles throughout our lives, so if we’re reserving our happiness for some far off time when all things are great in our kingdom, then we are setting ourselves up to be disappointed. We have to be happy with who we are, before we can be happy with what we achieve, otherwise we will continuously be searching for the next achievement to fulfill us.
106. answers are meant to be questioned
We’ve been told to “fake it, til we make it,” and in the process have become experts at faking it, all the while distancing ourselves from the ability to tell the difference. Whether it’s due to ego or ignorance, a lot of what we “know” simply isn’t accurate, and the danger is that it often isn’t easy to tell what parts are lacking real evidence. Mastering the art of stating an unfounded opinion as fact, the “experts” are found smiling and bluffing their way through an answer. They rise in the ranks because we value chest thumping and answers, that match our opinion, delivered with conviction over an honest “it depends.” Yet, the majority of us have invested little more than a sound bite worth of time or a few minutes worth of googling in an attempt to become knowledgable on an issue. “In our certainty obsessed public discourse,” As Ozan Varol says in Think Like a Rocket Scientist “we avoid reckoning with nuance” and prefer baffling people with bullshit, instead of realizing that our answers are meant to be questioned. So we march forward pretending to “know“ what we think we know, oblivious to any fact that may contradict our beliefs simply because our discussion is allowed to proceed without a rigorous system for discerning facts from fake news.
question everything
We want everything to be straightforward but it's impossible to give a comprehensive and detailed prescription for health. Most natural systems are irreducible, which places profound restriction on the validity of the inherent reductionist ideology of modern scientific thought. Everything on this planet is about N=1 because everything can be altered individually from epigenetic changes brought on by environmental input down to the quantum theory of observation where the outcome is dependent on the observer.
105. upgrade the system
No one in the modern world is unaware of the impact a virus can have on our day. We’ve dealt with them for years. Ever since the advent of downloadable porn, music, and movies, we’ve had to be on the lookout. The natural solution at the time was to install an antivirus software and go about our day. However, as technology evolved we found that upgrading the hardware and software would make the whole system more robust and allowed our digital interactions to be less prone to exogenous attacks.
We’ve taken the antivirus mentality and applied it to our current health crisis, forgetting that upgrading the hardware and software — i.e., lifestyle and mindset — are the key components to creating a more vibrant and healthy system. With the knowledge that the majority of our society is unhealthy, operating on a dysfunctional and worn down system due to years of neglect, compounded by the fact that the least healthy among us are the ones most affected, why are we choosing to wait for the latest antivirus to “install” when the real solution is to improve the overall system?
104. out of the box
The funny thing about freedom is that it allows us to create our own prisons, it’s just that we call it choice. We can do anything at anytime, but most of us inevitably settle for choosing an ideology that we feel best represents us, or a routine that comforts us. We lock onto that one thing, and it becomes us. The popular views, thoughts, and methods surrounding our particular choice define the way we see and approach the world. Pretty soon we’re locked into a certain perspective, running the risk of blinding ourselves to unforeseen possibilities.
It’s good to have the freedom to choose something that inspires us and provides purpose but it’s important to know that it can become detrimental if we lock ourselves into a certain perspective. If we’re stuck within a certain mindset, location, routine, relationship, methodology, or way of doing things, we never allow ourselves to experience the world we’re missing. Often times, what we’re missing is the very thing that can take our lives to new heights. So do what you love, but get out of the box you’ve created so that you can gain a new appreciation of what you have or new perspective on what you’ve never considered.
103. inconsequential changes
What happens when you rely too heavily on the rituals we have in place? Be it the way you get ready for work in the morning, the way you take to the office, or the way you complete your daily tasks. We all sink into a certain way to do things, but what happens when one inconsequential thing changes? The water isn’t working for your morning shower, or the most efficient route to work is closed for construction, or the machine you use to complete your work at the office is on the fritz. It’s time to rethink your ritual.
There’s a story about a monk who would lead his followers in meditation, but just as everyone was reaching their flow states, they would be disrupted by a cat wandering through the temple, purring and meowing for attention. The solution was simple, tie the cat up outside prior to the session so that no one would be bothered during their meditations. This ritual went on for so long that when the cat eventually died, a spiritual crisis emerged. The followers were unsure how to carry out a meditation session without tying up the cat.
Sounds foolish, but like the monks, we are all perfectly capable of meditating without the cat, as well as successfully getting through any obstacle our day poses. Even if we don’t realize it, just because our sense of normalcy has been disrupted doesn’t mean we can’t figure out a way to move forward. We often create self-imposed limitations with our rituals and defend them because that’s how they’ve always been done. Whether it’s due to our long held rituals, our culture, our education, our skill set, our time, or our budget, we talk ourselves out of being able to complete something simply because something inconsequential is challenging our idea of how everything should be working. However, if you argue for these limitations, the unfortunate part is that you get to keep them.
102. risk vs reward
A lion faces a choice when it’s hungry. It can easily hunt for a mouse, or attempt to take down the larger antelope. The decision comes down to risk versus reward. While the lion is fully capable of taking down either, the mouse is the easier option, although the energy required to do so exceeds the caloric content of the mouse itself. Therefore, making this decision too often won’t lead to longterm fulfillment or growth. On the other hand, choosing to go after the antelope is the riskier option, requiring more effort and planning due to its greater size and strength, but will provide days worth of food if successful.
Think of the lion choosing its meal as a metaphor for the choices we make in our lives. Too often people are going after mice because it’s a sure thing, instead of the riskier but far more fulfilling antelope. Assuming that if we decide to go for the antelope — or the thing that is most fulfilling to us — we might be met with failure and go hungry. So we don’t take the risk of starting a new business, we don’t take the risk of asking that person out, we don’t take the risk of committing to lifestyle change to acquire the health and body we desire because we are afraid to fail. We stay small by working the job that pays the bills, by staying “in our league”, and by yo-yo dieting. We only go after the small things because we’re only focused on not losing, instead of playing to win.
101. watch where your resources flow
What is the easiest way to know if the strategy you’re implementing will be successful? Watch where your resources flow. Whether it’s time, money, attention, or love — it really comes down to how you allocate your resources that will determine the outcome. If you want to be in shape, but choose to spend the majority of your free time watching Netflix and eating takeout, those 30 minutes a day spent at the gym aren’t going to amount to much. If you want to be in a relationship, but choose to take that person for granted by treating them as though they will always be there, those times you find it necessary to say “I love you” will eventually mean less and less. You might think you’re a dedicated person because you choose to go to the gym for 30 minutes a day, or only choose loving words when you feel its necessary, but the outcomes of those strategies are only going to result in failure. The expectations of these strategies aren’t aligned with the reality of the situation. If the decision you make about where you want to invest your mind, body, and heart aren’t consistent with the person you’re aspiring to be or the things you want to accomplish, you’ll never become that person who accomplishes those things.
100. paint your canvas
Too often we try to be someone we’re not. We take the canvas we’re given when we come into this world and paint it according to how we think we can best achieve the love and acceptance we’re after. We follow people we admire or want to be like, applying the brush strokes to the canvas just as they did, without realizing that no one goes to the museum to look at another version of an already famous painting. It’s the pieces of ourselves we suppress while trying to model the picture of our lives after someone else’s that are the exact things we need to emphasize on our canvas to find the love and acceptance we’re after. Whether it’s because of fear or societal pressures, the parts of ourselves we’re most afraid to show are the very things that make us unique. And, if we can find the confidence, it’s those peculiar differences that will earn you a place on the wall. Find confidence to beautifully paint the canvas you’re given.
99. find joy in the process
Every time you find yourself unhappy, it’s most likely due to some form of comparison. We’re never really upset until we start comparing where we are with where we think we should be. It’s a formula for dissatisfaction that leaves us more concerned with the result of our effort, than finding enjoyment within the process itself.
Focusing on the result, instead of enjoying the process itself is a form of comparison between the future and current versions of yourself. Placing all your attention on the result, at the expense of the processes will only lead to dissatisfaction in the long run because you haven’t learned to enjoy all the things that were necessary to achieve the desired results, which will ultimately lead to you losing them. For instance, you can compare yourself to someone who is consistently in good shape. You can ask them what you need to do to look good naked, and then follow their prescribed regimen to achieve the body you desire, but if you do not find a majority of the effort within the process enjoyable, you won’t have that body for long.
There are two types of people; ones that think they will only be happy when they achieve what they’re after, and ones who find happiness in the execution of the process. If you are embarking on a journey only as a means to an end, you’ll never find joy in the steps it took to get you there. It is an inevitability that if you enjoy what you’re doing, you will get better results. Long after you achieve your goal or arrive at your destination, you’re still doing many of the things there were necessary to get you there simply because you enjoy them.
Research has shown that you derive more satisfaction — dopamine — from the process of pursuing than actually acquiring the things you’re after. In other words, the people who find enjoyment in the process will have the best results longterm, whereas those who are only after a result will quickly lose interest once they achieve what they’re after. The person who is consistently in shape enjoys the process of working out and eating well because it provides them with a positive feedback mechanism of confidence, vibrancy, and looking good naked, that allows them to consistently find enjoyment within the process. If you hate working out and eating well, and must sacrifice to get the body you want, you can achieve it but it is unlikely you will maintain it.
98. affluence without abundance
We inherently know that more isn’t always better, but this is contrary to everything we been told to live by in our culture. To be happy, you need more school, more career advancement, more money, more friends, more attention, and more material possessions. And even when you have it all, you never really achieve the happiness you were promised.
We are consistently hung up on not having enough, so we create a story within our head that speaks toward inadequacy. “If I only had this much money…” “If I only had this new thing…” “If I only had the body I wanted, I’d be happy.” It’s unfortunate that we are conditioned to believe we are never enough simply because we don’t have enough. And this comes from the narrative we’ve been sold, written by the companies who thrive off our search for happiness as they exploit our thoughts of inadequacy.
If the story you’re being told isn’t making you happy, it’s time to create a new story. The prevailing idea of intentionally working a job you hate, to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t care about, should be replaced with working hard enough at something you enjoy, to provide the things you need, for the people you care about. These are fundamentally different approaches; one breeds a lifetime of inadequacy, stress, poor health and heartbreak, while the other finds fulfillment, love and happiness in the things that truly matter. It’s affluence without abundance.
97. live in the present
We live most of our lives in our head. Thinking and worrying about the consequences of what might come from our past decisions and future actions. Rarely are we ever present in the moment. We are really only anxious about what might be, but never what is. The anxiety that comes from contemplating whether or not you should kiss that person, the response you’ll receive from a work presentation, or what will happen once you step on stage to perform is all extinguished in the moment. There is no longer what if, only what is. We worry about the past and future, but all there is, is now. The funny thing is that worrying is a form of praying for what you don’t want. If you are consistently anxious about underperforming or failing, there is a greater likelihood that will happen because you are bringing so much attention to it. If you think about the last time you were worried about something you had to do, you’ll probably remember all the negative thoughts that existed before and after, but never during. You can’t be afraid in the moment because your mind is focused on performing, not analyzing. If we know that our best effort is made without worry, why do we continue to allow the ghosts of consequence to creep in?
96. rounding the edges
The professionals we choose to listen to and the people we choose to pay attention to, are often at the extremes of their craft. Why? Because they dive deep into a subject and uncover things that people in the middle tend to miss. They are intriguing, simply because they chose to passionately explore something they love without the burden of paying attention to things that don’t matter to them. Their captive attention allows them to become the best, and is seen in the creative knowledge on display as a result of their efforts.
There’s a reason we gravitate towards these people when we are looking for a coach, a doctor, a graphic designer, a financial advisor, or any other profession really. It’s because we love what these people have to offer.
On the other hand, years of schooling and cultural indoctrination pushes the majority of us to fit in, to sand down the edges and become well rounded. When we went to school, it was better to have a bunch of B’s, than an A+ in one subject and D’s in another. We push children (who turn into adults of the same mentality) to focus on their D’s and ignore their A+. All the while, repeating the mantra “a Jack of all trades is a master of none.”
What could happen if you chose to follow something to the extreme? If you broke free from the paradigm of institutionalized mediocrity? If you chose to perfect the one thing you can do better than anyone else? That mentality is what the future hinges on.
95. complex systems
Systems are complex. Just look at the body. How much do you really know about what goes on in there? Probably, very little. Within complex systems, such as the body, or larger systems like the “Healthcare” system, processes can be so tightly coupled together that they’re often hidden from us. Yet, given enough time, certain things will express themselves and therefore be seen as normal (e.g., disease processes and rising Healthcare costs). In other words, what looks like a sudden traumatic event like a heart attack, or a freak accident like the complete failure of the “Healthcare” system to bolster people’s health, is just a normal expression of a flawed system over time.
The acceleration of stressful inputs we’ve seen placed onto an already broken system has sped up the eventual outcome — we’re all dying by subscribing to the “Healthcare” system. For those who choose to see it, these events are allowing us to see where the cracks are, both in how we individually have the power to capture health, as well as the failures of the “Healthcare” system at large. The disproportionate amount of stress placed on our flawed system is quickly bringing to light the faulty processes that many were previously unaware of, and may have taken another decade or so before they would have arisen organically. Tragic, but true.
If we can look at these freak events — i.e., the failure of the “Healthcare” system to create healthy people, instead of the walking dead who scour the earth surviving on meds — not as outliers, but completely normal outcomes of a flawed system, then we can understand it’s just part of the process. Think… it’s not a bug, it’s a feature! What we do with our newfound awareness will dictate the system we use to capture health in the future. We can learn from this because after all hindsight is 2020.
Where once we thought freak accidents happen, we can now understand how small things over time can have a large impact on system small and large. So, looking at all the things you know you need to do to get healthy, yet are able only to complete a fraction, don’t think you’re a failure because you only checked off 2 of the 10 things that have been recommended to you. Instead, appreciate the fact that those 2 positive things you’ve completed today impact 10 different things positively, just in subtly different ways that are hidden away within the larger system. In time, you’ll find greater health and find value in checking off more boxes so you can steer clear of any freak events in the future.
94. behavior change
How do you come to believe the things you believe about yourself? You popped into this world with no preconceived notions, so where did the idea of You come from? We can argue the concepts behind Nurture versus Nature, but both are instrumental in constructing the identity you have about yourself.
So how does our identity get shaped? Mostly, through repetition of whatever story you’ve constructed over the years and repeatedly told yourself. Your story is your identity. The habits you formed shaped that narrative, and reinforced your particular identity. Sometimes it can be positive; “I’m a caring and loving person.” Other times it can be negative; “I’m fat and everyone hates me.” But these are just the stories you tell yourself. The unfortunate thing is, whether good or bad, if you’re looking for something to validate your feelings, you’re going to find it. So, if you go into situations with a certain framework, you’ll come away with experiences that match the story you’re telling yourself and solidify it within your mind.
Every thought and action you take is a vote for the person you want to become. If you can master the right mindset, that allows you to establish the right habits, you will continuously cast a vote for the person you wish to become. Those small efforts, day-after-day serve to create major changes over time. You’re not going to transform your body by doing one push-up a day, just as you’re not going to become a published author by writing once a day, but each time you do, you cast a vote for the type of person that doesn’t miss workouts, or the daily practice of writing. And over time, you’ll become the person who is healthy and can write well enough to tell you about it.
It’s important to understand that the goal isn’t to lose weight, or to publish a book because once you do, you’re not pursuing behavior change anymore, you’re acting in alignment as to the type of person you already see yourself to be. True behavior change is really identity change. Once you change the internal story, it’s easier to show up as the person you want to be. And, at that point it’s no longer motivation that drives you; it’s actualization of “this is who I am now.”
93. oh, you’ve changed
Don’t get caught in the trap of worrying too much about what other people think. It’s a mistake because you’ll never really know what they think, only what they are willing to tell you. Often when people offer their opinion, they think they’re saying it on our behalf. They encourage you not to stretch or strive for something greater because they don’t want to be responsible for you if you fall. Who knows, maybe they see something you don’t. But, if the encouragement consistently falls on complacency, they are not helping you grow, and maybe you’ve outgrown certain people. It’s not a bad thing. People will say, “oh, you’ve changed,”… but, isn’t that the point?
92. what’s missing is empathy
We all exist at the center of our own universe, so it’s hard not to view everything from the lens of your own perspective because that’s all you’ve ever known. In an effort to create the world we want, we must not lose sight of how the actions from our singular perspective can affect others. We are effectively blind to the consequences of our actions, sometimes because we choose not to see, and other times because we can’t. In either situation, if the world we wish to create includes another person, we need to have a little more empathy for how others may see our actions. Most of the time, we all go into situations thinking only about what we want rather than what is important to that other person. It isn’t necessarily wrong, but if that person is someone who you want to place your focus on, then it is important to include how your actions may affect them. Changing your perspective in this way is a powerful way to deepen your relationships.