people will say you’ve changed, but isn’t that the point
As a habitual line-stepper, I often challenge people on things they say. My intention is not to be a dick, but to figure out if they even know why they believe the thing they’re saying. Generally, when I pose the question, “why do you believe that?”, people get flustered. I think they get this way because they’ve adopted certain premises — from teachers, mentors, and family — without independently challenging that line of thought to clearly develop their own philosophy. We’re all guilty (even me) of carrying on with a line of thought that doesn’t serve us, but it shouldn’t be a matter of contention when someone asks why. It should be a moment of reflection.
Perhaps, the reason why such inquires seem maligned is that our beliefs are directly tied to our identity. When people challenge our beliefs, it can feel like they are attacking us for being who we are. That isn’t always the case, and we should know and be able to explain why we believe the things we do. If we can’t explain why we believe in something it is time to sit back and wonder if that belief we hold so dearly is really beneficial. These premises, ideologies, thoughts, philosophies, and beliefs all have the ability to drive our lives, either in a good direction because they are accurate and aligned to the right purpose, or toward a negative place because they are inaccurate and contradictory to what we are trying to achieve.
We’re all allowed to hold differing opinions but I don’t think that a belief has any merit if you can’t explain why you hold on to it. I think people are scared to change because their identity is tied to a certain belief system, and if they change they will have to admit to themselves that they were wrong. I can tell you first hand, that hurts, but if it gives way to a new belief you can stand behind, it’s a painful transition worth taking because it will lead to a better version of you.
We’re not meant to be the same person all our lives. We’re meant to grow, search for happiness, share our love, explore passions, and change the world. Challenging your beliefs will make you different. People are going to say “you’ve changed”, but isn’t that the point?